Uncle Bill O'Reilly is wrong!

Barney and Uncle Bill were talking on Fox about Hispanics waving the Mexican flag in California at a political protest. Uncle Bill said that it is now acceptable and is no longer offensive to most Americans.  That may be true in the U.S.A., but not the rest of the world. I live in the Philippines if I put a U.S. flag out on my balcony the neighbors would raise all kind of H???.  In fact it would be against the law in the Philippines and I would be deported if I participated in a political rally or waved an American flag. A lot of Americans and a lot of our politicians no longer have U.S. pride. Yet, we allowed Reid to use Manny the famous Filipino boxer to influence the election in Nevada and no American politician or American media or American citizen said a word that I know about.

It appears to me we just have lost all our patriotism, religious values and morals and we are about to lose our country to foreigners. I may not like a lot of things in the Philippines, but I adapt and that is what minorities should do when moving to the U.S.

+++ At the Republican Convention a middle age woman was arrested for trying to burn the U.S. Flag so some people must still care Uncle Bill! Her husband was burned in the incident KARMA!

What makes us family

It is not flesh and blood, but love, respect and loyalty that makes us family. I have recently witness jealousy and quarreling among a Filipino family and I realize no matter what their blood relation is too one another they are not really family. Yet, they expect the benefits of a family relationship because of blood ties.

The cousins that have not taken advantages of the opportunities they have been given expect the cousins that have worked, educated themselves and done without so they could have more at a later date should share equally with them and guarantee they can live the same lifestyle.

Philippine CRAB mentality at its best! Jealousy at its best! I drew the line in the sand when I helped a brother and sister open a small cafe, people who have been dedicated employees of mine for ten years and now all the losers in their family want a piece of the action. I owe the family nothing and I will not give them nothing nor will I allow those that have served me faithfully share with the losers what I have given them. I have tried to help the losers over the years and they would rather party than invest in their future.

I have given the mother money over the years to only find she gave it to the losers in the family and made out like it came from her - buying prestige.  The mother ask me for 300,000 peso to purchase and stock a place in a public market for me only to find out that was a rouse to get the 300,000 she had no intention of opening anything.

I invested in five cows for the oldest brother and half of the calves were suppose to go to my employee and he would keep the other half.  He sold the five cows before they ever had calves and my employee got nothing. It was justified by the family members by saying he was the oldest child and the youngest owed it to him. It was not the youngest child's money it was my money and I owed him nothing.

Expats,be very careful when you get involved with helping Filipino families. It is not all that it appears to be. I have helped families all my life and I admit I have been burned a few times, but in the Philippines I have been burned EVERY time! I helped neighbors until my home became an open door mission and I had to stop helping them. They came to think I owed it to them to help them out of their messes. When the help stop they stop visiting. It is strange the true Filipino friends I have are the ones that have never ask me for nothing and expect nothing but my respect and love. They are always there in good and bad times. I do not know how many grandmothers Filipinos have, but one beggars has ask me to help bury six.

I was ask many times to help one Filipino family always in crisis only to have another Filipino show me the family's facebook page and find that I was paying for a grandaughter to participate in beauty pageants, expensive preschool, modeling classes, etc. Yes, I admit I was the FOOL!

Be Sure You Know What You Are Leaving Behind!

I made a mistake leaving what was familiar because I became bored and unsatisfied with what I had.  I allowed the desire for gratification to replace love.  I thought new people, new culture, new traditions and a new adventure would bring back the excitement I experienced when I was younger.  I have since learned, what I should have already known, nothing can replace the familiar and bring you the comfort that old friendships bring to one’s life. 

I have now lived in the Philippines for over five years and I still feel as if I am living out of a piece of luggage, a permanent tourist. Being a tourist is great for a break, but it is a sad way to live.  I own a house and have a few new friends, but home will always be Houston, Texas.  I have had some expat’s tell me that they feel the Philippines is now their home.  They accuse me of not doing enough to make it my home.  As time passes I usually come to realize these people, usually men, did not experience true happiness, respect and love where they came from.  They gave up nothing to move to the Philippines.  They did not leave true friends, people they were really bonded to.  They came to the Philippines to escape and or make one more attempt to be important or feel fulfilled.

Some sarcastically say if you are not happy here why stay, go home!  Have you ever heard the saying, “You can never go home again.”  Friends move on with their lives and you have not been a part of the changes that have taken place.  I tore up once and left and made a mistake, why do it again?  I would never do that unless I knew for sure things would be as they were and there is no way to guarantee that and quite frankly I think it is impossible. You see I have no reason to and never wanted to forget my friends or have them forget me and when I left I acted without realizing that would happen.  I allowed gratification to take control of my decision making.

I have good memories that mean nothing to people in the Philippines that were not a part of them.  I came to the Philippines thinking I could do charity work among the poor.  It is difficult to work among people you cannot communicate with.  It is not true that everyone in the Philippines speaks fluent English.  The vast majority of the poor people speak NO English.  Not many of the middle income people speak conversational English.  There are over 700 dialects in the Philippines.  I do not care how intelligent you are it would take you years to learn to speak one of the dialects correctly and if you come to the Philippines when you retire it is simple mathematics, you generally do not have years to learn a new language. 

If you are like me and love people and are truly interested in people it is difficult not to be able to participate in their daily lives because of a language barrier.  This does not seem to be a problem for some expat’s because they obviously do not care about anyone, but themselves. They sit in the coffee shops and bars with their five or six expat friends and do not attempt to truly integrate with Filipino society.  If that works for them I am happy for them, but it does not work for me.  There is no better treasure in this world than loyal friends and friendship cannot be based solely on people speaking the same language as you.  I have had several expat's say to me, “I do not have anything in common with this person or that person, but I need to be around people that speak English.”

A valued friend from back home stays in touch with me weekly.  He recently had the opportunity to meet up with two of his high school friends.  They no longer live in the same cities, but they have managed to meet recently over several weekends.  They had some apprehension of getting together in the beginning, but now they are happy they did.  They can share in memories they all participated in building. Never underestimate healthy friendships because I can assure you acquaintances can never take the place of true friends. 

It takes courage to ‘stay with it’ – not to move on when things are not going your way.  I now must ‘stay with it’ in the Philippines.  I now understand you cannot live on your likes and dislikes alone.  If you are living by your emotions alone, you are being held hostage to your own needs; “If, however, a person chooses not to fill a hole he or she perceives they have in their life with new relationships or new projects, but see the old ones through, life can transfer to a new and higher level – the ‘spirit’ realm” (Iain Matthew).