Is pornography as bad for you as some Christians say?

Pornography is any image, picture, statue, advertisement, writing, etc. whose purpose is to create sexual titillation. In modern Western culture, sex has become such a public topic that the lines between what is legitimate and what is illicit are harder and harder to define.  In fact, sexual images have become so prominent that what used to be considered soft pornography is now considered tame enough to be on prime time television. And while it used to be that people could only get access to it in magazines behind the counter and then only at certain stores it is now so pervasive that virtually anyone can access any kind of pornography through the most basic internet connection. Many now even question why some Christians think pornography is such a big deal.

I have to admit I wrestle with the question was it as big a deal as the church said it was after all my church believes masturbation should be made illegal and classified as a crime. I have thought those that did not want to watch it were not forced to, but then as I stated earlier that would mean you could not even watch television anymore or go to a movie.  I have said those working in the industry were not forced to do so, but again that is not exactly true anymore. A person’s economic situation can often influence them to do things they do not want to do. I have said if the all parties involved from the beginning to the end were consenting adults what’s the harm, but that is no longer true because it is easily accessible to children on television, Internet, movies, magazines, books in general and even billboards along the highways.

I was talking with my housekeeper this morning and ask, “What is wrong with our society today?”  There is corruption among religious leaders, politicians, government employees, corporations, lawyers, doctors, teachers, nearly every profession you can name. Maybe our moral compass is not longer working.

 Is it possible for a person (society) to become desensitized to just about anything? I now believe it is! I now live in the Philippines and encounter daily people who are the poorest of the poor and after nearly eleven years I am constantly amazed that they are happy people.  Sometimes I wonder if they even know how poor they are because they act as if they hardly even notice it. I helped a family move to Davao, Philippines and open a very small business. One day I was complaining our public water goes off every day for twelve hours are more. They began to laugh and I inquired as to why they were laughing. They replied, “Father, we have lived in the mountains all our lives and have had to carry water from a stream twice a day having running water twelve hours a day is a miracle to us.”

They say people who play violent video games often become so desensitized that even real violence is seen as no big deal. This technique is now even used by the military to desensitize young recruits. Pornography has become so prominent in our society that we hardly even notice it anymore – much less think of it as something bad and destructive. A great example of this is the many “soft porn” TV commercials advertising everything from lingerie to hamburgers. It is so prevalent that most people aren’t even embarrassed anymore when they encounter it.

Pornography is purely an object of self-gratification. In any area, when our life is focused on gratifying ourselves rather than accomplishing the purpose of God, we put ourselves in a position which is outside of our relationship with God. For a Christian this will always create ‘guilt’.

There is a Naturalist worldview that exists today and it has become prominent in our society. Naturalism accepts no moral absolutes. It totally denies that a God exists and therefore there is no such thing as a set of moral values which is given by a higher authority. That being the case, the only possibility which exists is for man to create his own values. There is no reason, then, for any kind of sexual expression to be considered wrong or bad – including pornography. This is the worldview of a large percentage of people in the industries which control much of the public discourse in entertainment, news media, and higher education.

The Naturalist worldview has seeped into the belief system of a large number of people in the world – INCLUDING - people who claim to be Christians. I confess I WAS guilty. Surveys by religious institutions reveal the lifestyle of the average Christian today differs very little from those who are not Christians. So, what we end up with is a large group of people who give lip service to Christian values, but who live as if they are Naturalists. It appears Christians may be looking at porn as much as non-Christians.

Our problem, as Christians, is that the values of the Naturalist have become such a part of the thinking of modern society that we have totally lost any sense of why pornography is bad and the addictive nature of viewing pornography has already entrapped a large number of Christians – even Christian pastors and other religious leaders.

We must recognize as Christians that sex is not a value-neutral issue. It was created by God for a specific purpose (enjoyment is one of those purposes) and only to be expressed within particular defined relationship. The production and use of pornography takes something that was created by God (sex) and employs it for a purpose outside God’s purpose.  Pornography turns sex into a human centered purpose. If the God of the Bible is truly the person He has revealed Himself to be, we must understand that we do not have the prerogative to take God’s things and use them in other ways. When counseling with people addicted to pornography I always ask them when Christ returns do you want Him to find you in front of the computer screen watching pornography. NO ONE has ever said yes, or it is okay with me. I have had a few say I do not want to be having sex when Christ returns – WHY NOT – God created sex.

 Sexual gratification outside of a committed relationship creates guilt for a Christian as I have stated earlier. I have always heard religious leaders claim it alienates a person from God. I have some problems with that because alienation means to make one hostile to God or God hostile to them or to take something away from one party and transfer to another. That seems to do away with ‘grace’.

I agree by definition, living in a manner which goes against the ways of God is sin, and I do believe sin creates a barrier between us and God (guilt). God’s purpose for mankind is for us to conform our lives to His purpose and ways. Those who participate in the production and use of pornography in any way are putting themselves in a position of opposition to the ways of God. I think God has the right to do as He pleases, but I do not believe God turns His back on sinners or gives up on sinners and pornography is one of many sins. God gives us the understanding of right and wrong and expects us to choose right.  The choice of whether or not we follow His direction is our own (freewill).

Pornography is bad because the industry itself uses people in ways which destroy them (self-image, self-esteem, health, morals) and turns them into objects of profit. Those who are working in the industry are not looking for ways to serve God, they are looking to make money and satisfy themselves. They do not see human beings as people made in the image of God whom He values, but as objects which can bring a handsome price. This self-centered point of view which denigrates humanity runs completely contrary to the way God designed things to be.

The final reason I think pornography is bad relates to those who view it. People who view pornography are also objectifying others for personal gratification, and doing it in a way that drags them down as well. Human beings are individuals whom God created with an inherent dignity and value. First of all, those who view pornography are setting themselves up for an addiction to something which requires looking at other people as objects of self-gratification. Secondly, they are devaluing the people they are looking at. This is all contrary to God’s purpose and ways.

As Christians, we should be living and expressing our own faith, our own belief system, not worldview beliefs. We should be living in a way that changes the hearts of individuals. We should be living in a way that serves to eliminate destructive influences. 

Be Sure You Know What You Are Leaving Behind!

I made a mistake leaving what was familiar because I became bored and unsatisfied with what I had.  I allowed the desire for gratification to replace love.  I thought new people, new culture, new traditions and a new adventure would bring back the excitement I experienced when I was younger.  I have since learned, what I should have already known, nothing can replace the familiar and bring you the comfort that old friendships bring to one’s life. 

I have now lived in the Philippines for over five years and I still feel as if I am living out of a piece of luggage, a permanent tourist. Being a tourist is great for a break, but it is a sad way to live.  I own a house and have a few new friends, but home will always be Houston, Texas.  I have had some expat’s tell me that they feel the Philippines is now their home.  They accuse me of not doing enough to make it my home.  As time passes I usually come to realize these people, usually men, did not experience true happiness, respect and love where they came from.  They gave up nothing to move to the Philippines.  They did not leave true friends, people they were really bonded to.  They came to the Philippines to escape and or make one more attempt to be important or feel fulfilled.

Some sarcastically say if you are not happy here why stay, go home!  Have you ever heard the saying, “You can never go home again.”  Friends move on with their lives and you have not been a part of the changes that have taken place.  I tore up once and left and made a mistake, why do it again?  I would never do that unless I knew for sure things would be as they were and there is no way to guarantee that and quite frankly I think it is impossible. You see I have no reason to and never wanted to forget my friends or have them forget me and when I left I acted without realizing that would happen.  I allowed gratification to take control of my decision making.

I have good memories that mean nothing to people in the Philippines that were not a part of them.  I came to the Philippines thinking I could do charity work among the poor.  It is difficult to work among people you cannot communicate with.  It is not true that everyone in the Philippines speaks fluent English.  The vast majority of the poor people speak NO English.  Not many of the middle income people speak conversational English.  There are over 700 dialects in the Philippines.  I do not care how intelligent you are it would take you years to learn to speak one of the dialects correctly and if you come to the Philippines when you retire it is simple mathematics, you generally do not have years to learn a new language. 

If you are like me and love people and are truly interested in people it is difficult not to be able to participate in their daily lives because of a language barrier.  This does not seem to be a problem for some expat’s because they obviously do not care about anyone, but themselves. They sit in the coffee shops and bars with their five or six expat friends and do not attempt to truly integrate with Filipino society.  If that works for them I am happy for them, but it does not work for me.  There is no better treasure in this world than loyal friends and friendship cannot be based solely on people speaking the same language as you.  I have had several expat's say to me, “I do not have anything in common with this person or that person, but I need to be around people that speak English.”

A valued friend from back home stays in touch with me weekly.  He recently had the opportunity to meet up with two of his high school friends.  They no longer live in the same cities, but they have managed to meet recently over several weekends.  They had some apprehension of getting together in the beginning, but now they are happy they did.  They can share in memories they all participated in building. Never underestimate healthy friendships because I can assure you acquaintances can never take the place of true friends. 

It takes courage to ‘stay with it’ – not to move on when things are not going your way.  I now must ‘stay with it’ in the Philippines.  I now understand you cannot live on your likes and dislikes alone.  If you are living by your emotions alone, you are being held hostage to your own needs; “If, however, a person chooses not to fill a hole he or she perceives they have in their life with new relationships or new projects, but see the old ones through, life can transfer to a new and higher level – the ‘spirit’ realm” (Iain Matthew).