Society's Ill's

                     

When, in the garden of Eden, Adam and Eve turned from being God centered to being self centered, it set the pattern for all the sins and problems of the world to this day (Romans 5:12). In Jeremiah 17:9, God said, "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked; who can fathom it?" The sins in the heart of every person have produced the problems we face today. I do not take the garden of Eden, Adam and Eve story literally, but I firmly believe our self centered nature is the cause of society's problems.

Every generation ask the same question what has gone wrong with our society today, what has caused these problems, and what can be done to correct them?  Daily, we hear of school shootings, drug busts, rapes, robberies, people being threatened, murders, beatings, child abuse, sexual abuse, harassment, bullying, etc.  it is no wonder people questioning the ills of society.

Generation after generation we have been treating the symptoms and the effects rather than the causes. We have been putting a Band-Aid on the problems.  We look for more and more ways to protect ourselves from harm rather than really trying to solve the problem that is causing the harm.  We add police, metal-detectors, armed security in schools and we blame race, religion, politics, ethnicity, television, computer games, movies, etc. and never really address the core problems.

There was a time when a community was a family, not so today.  Many do not know their next door neighbor even when living in a condo or apartment complex. There was a time when you watched out for me and my family and I watched out for you and your family.  The schools had the right to discipline the children in school.  No one spent 16 hours a day worrying about ‘political correctness’.  If I saw your child misbehaving I would correct them or take them to you.  Today our institutions are more corrupt than ever, therefore, where do we learn morality.  It is not being taught in a lot of homes because homes today are mostly absentee parents. The home today is where one eats and sleeps, then each go their own way.  Each generation has become more and more a generation concerned about me rather than us.

We've all heard the complaints. Today's children are more disrespectful, undisciplined, and have a greater sense of entitlement than ever before. A lot of parents today can’t or won’t set limits for their children. Instead of disciplining them, they coddle and dote and bend over backward to shield them from frustration and protect their self-esteem.  In sport competition’s everyone gets a trophy so no one feels left out. The result is that we’re raising a generation of undisciplined narcissists (SELF-CENTERED CHILDREN) who expect everything to go their way, and it won’t be pretty -- for them or for our society -- when their sense of entitlement finally crashes into the unforgiving real world.  Is this really the children’s fault?

Children especially teenagers take a bad rap today! They are NOT all bad! We cannot categorize them all in one bunch. That's not fair, nor right. Of course teens today in general have problems. They always have. Today's seem to be more complex and severe than ever. As a result, many are troubled by things we adults never had to relate to. The solution doesn't seem easy to come by. Understanding the world they grow up in will help us to see where they are coming from.

Bill O’Reilly spends time nearly daily on the Factor telling us that lack of strict parenting and two parents in the home is destroying our children.  Now we find out that Bill O’Reilly and FOX have been settling claims for his sexual harassment cases for years in order to keep them quite and not upset ad revenue and Bill O’Reilly is divorced and there are not two parents in his children’s home. Bill O’Reilly may be somewhat right, but it shows that many like him or not practicing what they preach and society in general is not really taking the problem as serious as we should.  Maybe Mr. O'Reilly thinks there are two sets of rules for raising children one for rich and one for others.

Mr. O’Reilly, let us all start setting better examples for societies children.  That will do more good than condemning – you pompous hypocrite. EVERYONE IS A PRODUCT OF THEIR INFLUENCES including teens. An old proverb says, "You will be the person you are today, a year from now, except for the people you meet and the books you read." Mr. O’Reilly even you influence our children, because you influence many adults and they influence children.

We will never address society’s problems until we address the problems of our youth for they are the next leaders and voters.  We will never address youth problems until we address America’s problems – poverty, national pride, drug/alcohol abuse, violence, materialism, education disparity, shifting economy, etc.  The solution is complex and involves many issues not just parenting.

Faith in leadership, the foundation for a strong country and a more moral society has been destroyed. Young people have not had the privilege of having heroes. Military men and women are depicted as murderers who can't be trusted. Some sports stars are known to be alcoholics, cocaine users and sexual predators. Some religious leaders are involved in sex scandals and  financial scandals. Politicians are best known for their ability to tell lies.  These are facts!  Who can teens have for heroes today? How about Motley Crue, Prince, LL Cool J. Kardashian’s, etc.?

Many parents are working long hours to have more material things and when they are home they are fixing up the yard, partying, boating, camping, watching TV all the Important things without the teenagers?   Then we hear parents of troubled teens say, "I don't understand it, I gave him or her everything he or she ever wanted!" That is right you did everything but, YOURSELF!

Humanism is the greatest religion in the world today. Its churches are in session Monday through Sunday each week. Humanism in a nutshell is the "me, myself and I" religion. No God, no authority to submit to, just me, myself and I. 

How can we expect anything more of our society today?  It will be the downfall of America unless we stop talking and complaining and start doing something.  I do not look forward to being the next Spain, Greece, Rome, France, England and go from leader to follower.  

Be Sure You Know What You Are Leaving Behind!

I made a mistake leaving what was familiar because I became bored and unsatisfied with what I had.  I allowed the desire for gratification to replace love.  I thought new people, new culture, new traditions and a new adventure would bring back the excitement I experienced when I was younger.  I have since learned, what I should have already known, nothing can replace the familiar and bring you the comfort that old friendships bring to one’s life. 

I have now lived in the Philippines for over five years and I still feel as if I am living out of a piece of luggage, a permanent tourist. Being a tourist is great for a break, but it is a sad way to live.  I own a house and have a few new friends, but home will always be Houston, Texas.  I have had some expat’s tell me that they feel the Philippines is now their home.  They accuse me of not doing enough to make it my home.  As time passes I usually come to realize these people, usually men, did not experience true happiness, respect and love where they came from.  They gave up nothing to move to the Philippines.  They did not leave true friends, people they were really bonded to.  They came to the Philippines to escape and or make one more attempt to be important or feel fulfilled.

Some sarcastically say if you are not happy here why stay, go home!  Have you ever heard the saying, “You can never go home again.”  Friends move on with their lives and you have not been a part of the changes that have taken place.  I tore up once and left and made a mistake, why do it again?  I would never do that unless I knew for sure things would be as they were and there is no way to guarantee that and quite frankly I think it is impossible. You see I have no reason to and never wanted to forget my friends or have them forget me and when I left I acted without realizing that would happen.  I allowed gratification to take control of my decision making.

I have good memories that mean nothing to people in the Philippines that were not a part of them.  I came to the Philippines thinking I could do charity work among the poor.  It is difficult to work among people you cannot communicate with.  It is not true that everyone in the Philippines speaks fluent English.  The vast majority of the poor people speak NO English.  Not many of the middle income people speak conversational English.  There are over 700 dialects in the Philippines.  I do not care how intelligent you are it would take you years to learn to speak one of the dialects correctly and if you come to the Philippines when you retire it is simple mathematics, you generally do not have years to learn a new language. 

If you are like me and love people and are truly interested in people it is difficult not to be able to participate in their daily lives because of a language barrier.  This does not seem to be a problem for some expat’s because they obviously do not care about anyone, but themselves. They sit in the coffee shops and bars with their five or six expat friends and do not attempt to truly integrate with Filipino society.  If that works for them I am happy for them, but it does not work for me.  There is no better treasure in this world than loyal friends and friendship cannot be based solely on people speaking the same language as you.  I have had several expat's say to me, “I do not have anything in common with this person or that person, but I need to be around people that speak English.”

A valued friend from back home stays in touch with me weekly.  He recently had the opportunity to meet up with two of his high school friends.  They no longer live in the same cities, but they have managed to meet recently over several weekends.  They had some apprehension of getting together in the beginning, but now they are happy they did.  They can share in memories they all participated in building. Never underestimate healthy friendships because I can assure you acquaintances can never take the place of true friends. 

It takes courage to ‘stay with it’ – not to move on when things are not going your way.  I now must ‘stay with it’ in the Philippines.  I now understand you cannot live on your likes and dislikes alone.  If you are living by your emotions alone, you are being held hostage to your own needs; “If, however, a person chooses not to fill a hole he or she perceives they have in their life with new relationships or new projects, but see the old ones through, life can transfer to a new and higher level – the ‘spirit’ realm” (Iain Matthew).