What makes us family

It is not flesh and blood, but love, respect and loyalty that makes us family. I have recently witness jealousy and quarreling among a Filipino family and I realize no matter what their blood relation is too one another they are not really family. Yet, they expect the benefits of a family relationship because of blood ties.

The cousins that have not taken advantages of the opportunities they have been given expect the cousins that have worked, educated themselves and done without so they could have more at a later date should share equally with them and guarantee they can live the same lifestyle.

Philippine CRAB mentality at its best! Jealousy at its best! I drew the line in the sand when I helped a brother and sister open a small cafe, people who have been dedicated employees of mine for ten years and now all the losers in their family want a piece of the action. I owe the family nothing and I will not give them nothing nor will I allow those that have served me faithfully share with the losers what I have given them. I have tried to help the losers over the years and they would rather party than invest in their future.

I have given the mother money over the years to only find she gave it to the losers in the family and made out like it came from her - buying prestige.  The mother ask me for 300,000 peso to purchase and stock a place in a public market for me only to find out that was a rouse to get the 300,000 she had no intention of opening anything.

I invested in five cows for the oldest brother and half of the calves were suppose to go to my employee and he would keep the other half.  He sold the five cows before they ever had calves and my employee got nothing. It was justified by the family members by saying he was the oldest child and the youngest owed it to him. It was not the youngest child's money it was my money and I owed him nothing.

Expats,be very careful when you get involved with helping Filipino families. It is not all that it appears to be. I have helped families all my life and I admit I have been burned a few times, but in the Philippines I have been burned EVERY time! I helped neighbors until my home became an open door mission and I had to stop helping them. They came to think I owed it to them to help them out of their messes. When the help stop they stop visiting. It is strange the true Filipino friends I have are the ones that have never ask me for nothing and expect nothing but my respect and love. They are always there in good and bad times. I do not know how many grandmothers Filipinos have, but one beggars has ask me to help bury six.

I was ask many times to help one Filipino family always in crisis only to have another Filipino show me the family's facebook page and find that I was paying for a grandaughter to participate in beauty pageants, expensive preschool, modeling classes, etc. Yes, I admit I was the FOOL!