What about those little "white lies"?

In Catholic moral teaching, lying is the deliberate attempt to mislead someone by telling an untruth. The Catechism is quite clear how the Catholic Church views lying and the damage they believe deception causes.

Even though the Catholic Church opposes all types of deception most Catholics, like everyone else, routinely engage in “little white lies”. My mother had a problem with “little white lies” because she thought it was sometimes better than telling the truth in order to protect the feelings of others. 

I would often tell her a lie is lie and there is no exception for “white lies” because when you tell “white lies” your goal is to deceive.  She told me hundreds of times throughout the years it is better to say: “The meal was delicious!” – When it wasn’t. “The dress looks beautiful on you – When it did not. “Your perfume smells great – when the odor was foul. “I love your new hair style” – When it was horrible.  It was her way of not being confrontational and keeping peace.    

In recent years I have become faced with a personal dilemma about the sting operations used by those doing investigative reporting. Are those involved justified in lying about who they are and what they are doing to obtain what they perceive to be a better good?

I do not dispute the good that has come from some undercover sting operations, but do the results justify the means. Are pro- life groups justified in lying in order to discover the truth about Planned Parenthood? There have been debates among faithful Catholics on whether lying is ever justified in a good cause.

The Lord denounces lying as the work of the devil. The devil lied to Eve in the Garden of Eden— he convinced Eve to eat the fruit of the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil by lying to her.  Is that story literally true or not? I do not know, but I know it teaches a moral lesson that is valuable in 2015. It demonstrates what God does not want us to do.

The Catechism says lying is always wrong. There are no “good lies” that are fundamentally different from “bad lies”; all lies share the same nature—to lead the person to whom the lie is being told away from the truth. The purpose of speech is to communicate known truth to others.

There are not degrees of sin in the eyes of God – sin is sin. I admit it is difficult for humans not to justify lying to save the life of an unborn child and it is difficult not to lie to prevent hurting someone’s feelings. But, let an elected politician lie to us we can find no way to justify his or her actions.

Christ instructed us that the devil is “the father of lies,” if we believe that then who is the father of abortion? It’s the same devil and the he doesn’t care if we sin with good intentions or bad intentions his only goal is to get us to sin.

Every “willful untruth” does harm to someone—it harms both yourself and the person you’re lying to.

Paragraph 2489 of the Catholic Catechism has been cited many times by those who want to “justified deception”.  It states no one is bound to reveal the truth to someone who does not have the right to know it.

Using that argument to justify lying can present us with problems. We can keep our mouths shut and say nothing by which we do not reveal the truth to those that have no need to know – not GOSSIP! But paragraph 2489 of the Catechism does not allow us to open our mouths and deliberately deceive another person by telling untruths. It appears how we apply paragraph 2489 makes a difference in determining right and wrong.

Some would argue that if you do not tell the truth as you know it and choose to remain silent that is as great a sin as lying to deceive others. I do not know about that. If you say, “I do not have an opinion one way or the other and you do that is a lie”, if you say I do not know when you do that is a lie”, so I suppose they are correct.  I guess the safest thing to do is say, “I would prefer not to get involved” or “I would prefer to keep my opinion to myself”.

Every decision leads to a new moral or immoral act – God has given us the free will to decide for ourselves.

Paragraph 2488 of the Catechism presents another dilemma it states, “The right to communicate the truth is not unconditional”. It states everyone must live in such a way that his or her life conforms to the Gospel teachings of fraternal love. This requires us to judge whether or not it is appropriate to reveal the truth to someone who asks for it.

What should we consider when revealing the truth: The good and safety of others, respect for privacy, the ‘why’ for our being silent about what should not be known and our use of a discreet language. Our duty to avoid scandal often commands strict discretion. We still must remember regardless of our motives deliberate deception is always a sin.

I confess I personally do not believe anyone is bound to reveal the truth to someone who does not have the right to know it. I have certainly used priestly privileges (not seal of confession) to avoid discussing issues about others or to tell someone I do not think it is my place to comment on that subject.

I also want to add I do not think any form of ‘gossip’ should be acceptable to a Christian. We should not participate in gossip or listen to gossip. A friend who is a habitual gossiper is reason enough to end a relationship.

 We always have options we can remain silent when asked certain questions; we can change the topic; we can excuse ourselves from the conversation. But we cannot lie. If you know Joe is a thief you cannot say “Joe is not a thief.” We can never confirm a known lie to be the truth.

A good lesson to keep in mind comes from paragraph 1789 of the catechism: “One may never do evil so that good may result from it”.

In closing I would like to say: a non-believer can be a liar or be a person that never lies. The moral issue of lying or not lying is not unique to Christians. I believe myself to be a person who fears the Lord, walks by faith and yet I would lie in a life-threatening situation in order to oppose evil. There are several stories in the Bible where this happened to faithful servants of God.

I cannot say it is ever biblical correct to lie, but I am willing to say it is possible. The Bible nowhere explicitly approves of lying and as a minister I struggled through the years about how to teach on lying and some other issues.

There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to Him: “… haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that hurry to run to evil, a lying witness who testifies falsely, and one who sows discord in a family” - (Proverbs 6:16–19).

You have to decide the moral issue of white lies based on the circumstances at the time. But, whatever you do, do not foolishly listen to sermons on Sunday and fall victim to guilt because you assume the speaker telling you what to do is practicing the same in his or her personal life. They make daily moral decisions just like you do.