Stop trying to live others life's - live your own!

Today I am going to just ramble or vent a bit. I hope you will excuse me for doing so. Last night I met with a child of a friend at their request to talk to her about her attitude. During the conversation I said, "Why is it your teacher gives you a glowing report. She says you are the best student in your grade in the entire school and you are the most respectful child she has ever met. She claims she can only describe you as excellent - perfect", but that is not how your parents describe you.

She replied, "I am not the same at school as I am at home".  The first time I met this child several years ago I told her uncle they are going to have problems with her. She is "intelligent" and she knows it. The things they believe is cute now is not going to be cute in a few years. Well my prophesy was correct.

At home she wants to do things when she wants to do them and not when she is told to do them. If you cross her she yells and walks off.  You get the "whatever" with the hand in the air pointed towards you. If you try and talk to her she plays the I 'am sorry bit' and cries to make THEM feel sorry for her. She has the technique of getting and doing what she wants down pat. She has no problems calling cousins and siblings stupid because they do not excel in school as she does.

I ask her, "Why are you not the same at school as at home? Why are you not the same everywhere? Are you telling me that sometimes you are a phony - fake? Her reply was, "I do not know why I am different at school".

During my 3 a.m. prayer session it hit me like a ton of bricks - Tom why are you not the same everywhere with everyone?

My answer was - I was taught that I am to meet the expectations of those I am accountable to. That is a lesson I wish I had not learned so well. It has at times made my life miserable. I really did not want to be the best at everything I tried. I wanted to do MY best, but not try to be better than everyone else. I did not want to compete. I wanted to be good, fair, just, humble, faithful and loyal, but I personally did not have a need to be perfect all the time and I wasn't no matter how hard I tried.

Many in my family tried to live their life through me. I was the only one to go to college even up to today. I was the only minister. I was the only business owner, except for two uncles and grandfather. I was certainly the only one to graduate cum laud. All I wanted was to be was a minister from age six.

I was told in the seminary (cemetery) that a good minister has to appear to have all the answers. After all that is why they pay you and come to you for advice. I felt inadequate because I did not and do not have all the answers and it took me about ten years to realize I could just tell the people "I do not know". That was hard because I personally felt I had failed them. The authority figures in my life had told me I would be a failure if people thought I did not know it all.

Then came the time when I began not to agree with everything the hierarchy of my denomination handed down for us to teach. Do I tell the people I do not  believe abortion is an unforgivable sin and if it is forgiven the bishop must forgive it? Do I tell them I believe that having children they cannot afford is a bigger sin than using artificial birth control? Do I tell them Christ was not born in the month of December? Do I tell them the Shepherds did not arrive when Christ was a baby in a manger? Do I tell them that infant baptism is a ritual and it is okay, but I really believe it is best to wait until the children can acknowledge their own baptism? Do I tell them that I do not believe once saved always saved? Do I tell them I thing the Church is wrong to deny Communion to divorced and remarried couples or gay and lesbian couples? Will I be honest with myself or meet the expectations others place on me. Eventually, I began to preference things that I really did not support with - "THIS IS WHAT THE CHURCH TEACHES" and people in my parish knew that I did not whole heartily agree and then I would say other Christians believe -----.

Oh believe me when I say, it caused a lot of flack for me by some, but the majority supported me and did not want me to change. They were looking for truth and wanted to have the opportunity to pray, study and reason what was the truth. I would say the majority of Christians want to be TOLD what to believe.

Back to the beginning why have I spent my life trying to please others? All I really ever wanted was to please is God and myself. Why do I have to guard what I say so others will not be offended? What right do they have to impose their beliefs on me or what right do I have to impose my beliefs on them?

I sympathize with the gay and lesbian community. Their sexuality is between them and God as long as they obey the laws of the land (and lot of laws need to be changed) and they do not physically or emotional hurt others that is between them and God. What right do I have to judge them?

I do not want to anyone come back and say their actions emotionally offend me because it goes against what I believe God said - you should not be so emotionally weak. You can hold to your beliefs and let others do the same if you are really as faithful as you say you are.

I think a lot of Christians today have confused following God with trying to be God.

I am now getting nearer 80 every week and I frankly no longer care what others think of me and my beliefs if I feel I am right with God. I do not have to conform to anyone else belief system.  You have no right to judge me and I have no right to judge you. I can forgive the offences you did to me, but I cannot forgive the offences you did to others.  Only God and the ones you harmed can do that. By the way no other priest, bishops, cardinal or pope can forgive your sins either.

So in closing, I frankly do not care what you think of my of my political, personal or religious beliefs! I just want to be who God created me to be and please Him.

If you are allowing others to live their life through you or put demands on you to meet their expectations of what you should be or do my advise to you is make your own decisions and make yourself happy.

I just typed and did not worry about grammar or spelling or anything else. Please forgive me and do not nick-pick me. I actually have stupid people come back and say, "You were never a priest you misspell this or that or your grammar is terrible and you do not know where a comma, period or question mark belongs".  Hate to tell you priest are not perfect and they have the same bodily functions you do.  

The tragedy in Orlando will define our Christian faith - love/hate

I am sorry, but I simply do not understand some Christians and I am a Christian. We preach ‘grace’, forgiveness, love, not to judge, compassion, humility and etc., but let something horrible happen in the Gay community or let a terrible act of Mother Nature happen and there are some Christians (a minority) that immediately start blaming the Gay Community.  I am saddened by some of the comments posted by Christians on public sites regarding the Orlando terrorist attack – they are totally without any ‘grace’.

I have read, “They got what they deserved”, “I am glad it was a bunch of queers and not black folks”, about the ones trapped in the restroom – “They probably forgot to try and knock a wall out because they were too busy having sex with each other”, “God got those that are destroying our children”, “May they all burn in hell” and “I wish he would have killed them all and someone would attack every gay bar in the United States.”

It is a great time to read Luke 13:1-5. 

Do you think God finds our self-righteous judgment of the Gay Community acceptable? We all sin and come short of the glory of God.  Our righteousness does not come by our deeds it comes through Christ paying our sin debt on the cross. Our heart  is not any less obstinate and wicked than those at the gay bar in Orlando.

If you think God takes delight in the death of the wicked (sinners) maybe you should read Ezekiel 18:23 and neither should those who claim to be filled with the Holy Spirit take delight in their death.

If you believe the Bible states emphatically that homosexuality is a sin before you start talking trash about Orlando and the Gay Community read  Luke 13:34 - Weep over death and the widespread grief that accompanies it and  John 11:35 - But don't utter a word of condescending judgment — because your own sinfulness earns you no less than an eternity under God's anger.

Now is the time to help and pray for fellow human beings who have been hurt. The shooting was a hate crime against the Gay Community carried out by a radical Islamic terrorist, but more importantly it is a crime against human beings made in the image of God, and this should be the only reason Christians need to help those effected by this tragedy. Human beings were hurt and as a Christian, we are called to love and help our neighbor.

I am aware there will be some calling themselves Christians who will celebrate this tragedy. Westboro Baptist Church has already responded by saying, “God sent the shooter,” and, “God still hates fags.” Please do not join them.  If I believed these lies I could not serve the God I do.

As Christians, our marching orders are clear. Jesus tells us, “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Mark 12:31). Our neighbors have been attacked, and we need to show love to them. Paul tells us that true love “does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres” (I Corinthians 13:6-7). “The Lord is . . . not wishing that any should perish” (2 Peter 3:9).

I would like to add I do not believe Christians are responsible for this happening as some in the media have claimed. The terrorist that carried out this act did not care what Christians believe concerning homosexuals. He was in no way influenced by Christian teachings. I also do not believe gun control was a factor regardless what gun laws we have he would have gotten his weapon of choice one way or the another. How we respond in this crisis is not a conservative or liberal issue, Democrat or Republican issues it is a CHRISTIAN issue.

Christians must be part of creating a world where the kind of hatred and intolerance which motivated Omar S Mateen simply cannot prevail. We should not listen to men like Pastor Steven Anderson. He said the victims deserved to die. This is the same man that ask Christians to pray that President Obama would die.

Just hours after American’s worst mass shooting came to an end, Steven Anderson, pastor at Faithful Word Baptist Church in suburban Phoenix, unleashed a sickening tirade in which he said the victims deserved to die. The man is a bigot, a lunatic, a bitter/angry man, with a poisoned heart and a disgrace to the Christian religion. As they all do he quoted different scriptures from the Bible that suited his needs and the Book of Leviticus as he tried to justify the terror attack at Orlando’s Pulse nightclub. Let us not forget Leviticus tells us to kill our children if they talk back to us. Christians should not listen to these voices and not just react, but respond in love to this tragedy.

The Church must change or die!

Before you say God will never allow the Church as we know it today to die think about the 400 years between Malachi to Matthew when God remained silent to give mankind time to think before He began something new with the coming of Jesus Christ. God will accomplish what He wants with or without our help.  God’s ways or not our ways and I do not think God is happy with how our religious leaders have been introducing their own personal agendas and ignoring what God wants.

What happen with the Temple leaders in the Old Testament has been happening with our Church leaders and change must come. 

For thirty years I have not believed God of the Old Testaments was a God who desired to plunder the land and slaughter people. He was then and now a God of love, inclusion, grace, compassion and mercy.

Old Testament religious leaders used their own immaturity and tribal insecurities to define God. They interpreted and translated God’s words and added their own personal agenda and often what God wanted was not what the religious leaders of the time presented to the people. The same is happening today.

I have come to believe God knew that communicating through the ranks of priests and scribes and judges was not working. It led to his words being distorted. The only way God could communicate His character truthfully and without distortion was to bypass the intermediaries and speak directly to the people through Christ and the Holy Spirit.

Jesus Christ came and defined God as He really was and is.  Jesus Christ came without a personal agenda.  His only agenda was to accomplish what the Father sent Him to do. But, our religious leaders down through the years took up their swords to do battle with the scientists, thinkers, creative minds, innovators and to a certain extent continue to do so today. They have put on the old masks of the Old Testament Temple leaders and presented us with a violent and intolerant God that wants nothing to do with people THEY disapprove of unless they conform to THEIR values. It is time we get pass those immature views and contemplate what has been revealed to us by God. If we did that we would see that God has been evolving and adapting since the beginning of time. Many of our Church leaders today prefer the wicked God that strikes down the unrighteous and raises up the righteous and refuse to free their minds and keep the old out. God is doing a new thing and they are unable to perceive it.

The Church today is once again portrayed as a place of bigotry, narrow mindedness, leaders in love with power, leaders more interested in buildings and entertainment programs than meeting the real needs of the people, leaders over occupied with sex, eager to support unjust wars and leaders that do not want change.

A revolution will not bring about the change needed.  Only a dedication to change by evolution will accomplish the ongoing change that must happen in the Church. We were told the only way to save a village in Vietnam was to destroy it and now we say the only way to protect ourselves from violence is to wage a war of shock and awe on terror and we expect God to support us in these wars. The majority of us Christians cannot accept that secular Israel is not always right because of what our religious leaders have taught us.  Only evolution changes the spirit of man.

Our Church leaders continue to kill off new ideas and inspirations before they can even take root.  They have learned nothing from Christ parable of the sower. New growth exposed too quickly to the sun and burns up.  I have seen this over and over in the church today. Leaders put too many ritual demands, traditional demands and religious demands on the people; especially new people and they feel the heat and wither away.  

Pope Francis is trying to bring about an evolution in the Church and many religious leaders and lay people (like my housekeeper) are misguided in opposing him.  It takes no courage to sit at the comfortable tables of the priests/cardinals/bishops and no courage to do surveys and censuses then ignore them. But, Pope Francis is standing up bravely speaking of the change that he believes and I believe God wants in the Church. He has chastised the religious leaders for focusing too much on sex, divorce and family planning while neglecting what the people need to survive in the 21st century.

There are people sitting in the back pews who have the courage to imagine that newness (change) within the Church is not only possible it is inevitable. It is growing in the bellies of those that the religious leaders have deemed immoral and have made to feel unwelcome in the Church community. An evolution is coming and religious leaders will not stop it.

Evolution (change) in the Church will take time, but the people are growing impatient because religious leaders have done nothing in the past to address the problems. The people want change and want it now.  They are tired of waiting, but wait they must for real change to take hold. There is no one program that can solve the Churches problems overnight. The people must realize that if we are to see real, long lasting change then we must be willing to give it the time it needs to grow and we must see to it that our religious leaders never stop evolving again.

Religious leaders once again have come to believe we serve them.  God called them to a vocation that requires them to serve us.  We must return power to the people. The Church is no longer connected to culture and society, it is not where God wants it to be, and therefore it is not where God is. Our religious leaders have become custodians of empty historical buildings (museums).  We are left clinging to the past until we are willing to embrace the newness God wants to give us.

I have grown tired of sermons and songs that want us to believe that everything is okay in the Church when it is not.  We the people have allowed our culture and the Church to drift apart. Denial and cover up have permeated our Church. Denial comes when we fear the future. We should be finding truth every Sunday; instead we go for doses of fiction, enough to cloud our perception for the week ahead that everything is okay. The Jeremiahs of today are those that are powerless, who have no vested interest in keeping the present system propped up. I do not believe God is in what we are doing anymore. The denial and cover ups must stop once and for all.

God will not be forced in to some temple, place, church, box, agenda, theological position He does not want to be in. God can leave where He does not want to be. The journey of faith is not stagnant, but an evolution of the Spirit.

What is stopping the changes needed in the Church – who is saying no – who is saying impossible- only those whose interest lies in keeping things as they are now – those with power and interest invested in staying the same. Dare to dream where God may want to be today – among the poor, disenfranchised, the ordinary, the real, the people deemed immoral by the Church leaders and the places where Church leaders never thought were possible. – Yes, even among the Gay, divorce and those using artificial birth control.  

Put down your rocks!

Many Protestants say that all sin is the same in the sight of God. Others, while they admit that some sins are worse than others, argue that all sins, if not forgiven, bring death to the soul. They imply that Catholics are soft on sin.

Protestants will quote, "The wages of sin is death" (Rom. 6:23), and "The soul that sins shall die" (Ezek. 18:4), but what about 1 John 5:17, "Not all sin is mortal." Jesus, John and Paul indicated that some sins are greater than others they knew that the Jews taught that sins committed intentionally were more serious.

John 19:11 - Jesus says before Pilate, "You would have no power over me unless it had been given you from above; therefore he who delivered me to you has the greater sin." Jesus must have recognized a greater and lesser degree of sin.

1 John 5:17 - “All wrongdoing is sin, but there is sin which is not mortal.”

Some Christians would say that sin is sin, and all are the same.  I do not think the Bible agrees with that. Any kind of unrepentant sin can send one to hell. But the Bible speaks of one kind of sin that God referred to by a different name: It was called an Abomination. The word “abominable” refers to something which is extremely despised. Therefore, there are some things which God hates extremely.

These are some things which are found in Proverbs 6:16-19 that are said to be abominable to the Lord.

  A Proud Look:  “Every one that is proud in heart is an abomination to the Lord “(Prov. 16:5). Pride is an attitude of arrogance, superiority, boastfulness. The wealthy often feel superior to the poor; the educated often feel superior to the uneducated; the strong often feel superior to the weak. The Pharisee displayed an attitude of arrogant superiority toward the publican, Luke 18:9-14. This attitude is still present today when some Christians act “holier-than-thou”.  A Christian must display humility. He or she needs to imitate the humility of Jesus Philippians 2:2-3 and not the superiority of the wicked. Do any of us really display humility all the time?

  2.      A Lying Tongue: “Lying lips are abomination to the Lord” (Prov. 12:22). People lie for different reasons. Some auto dealers lie to sell automobiles. Some politicians lie to win an election. Some preachers lie to gain wealth. Some people lie with the intent of keeping peace. But, the Bible states, there is no justification for one to lie to another.  ALL LIARS shall have their part in the lake of fire. Revelation 21:8.  Has any Christian not told a lie?

  3.     Hands That Shed Innocent Blood: “Shedding innocent blood” is a reference to murder. A physician, who is trained to save life and use their medical instruments to kill an innocent unborn baby as a means of birth control is an abomination to God and all those that participate in the procedure are likewise guilty of murder. Anyone who kills, or attempts to kill the righteous is an abomination to God, Deuteronomy 19:10; Isa 59:7, 8. Is an accident that takes a life when the party involved is under the influence of drugs or alcohol included in this? I think it is.

  4.     A Heart That Devises Wickedness: “The thoughts of the wicked are an abomination to the Lord,” Proverbs 15:26. Before wickedness is committed, it is planned and plotted. This would include robbery, pornographic movie or magazine, rape, seduction, cheating, fraud, gossip, etc. Have you really never planned anything that you knew would profit you, but would be a disadvantage to others?

        Feet That Are Swift in Running to Mischief: If you have ever done anything for pleasure while knowing that God would not approve this would apply to you. We should all remember to be swift to hear, but slow to speak, and slow to anger, but how many of us have always done that.

  6.     A False Witness: A false witness is a special kind of liar their lying assists in perverting justice. The false witness distorts the truth. Does it really have to be only in court that bearing false witness is an abomination to God? Most of us deal with dispensing some kind of justice every day, especially if you are a parent. When you remain silent and you know a wrong has been committed, when you support a friend and you know they have wronged another, when you cover up the wrongs of your children is that not also bearing false witness? I tend to believe we have all been bearers of false witness at some time in our lives.

  7.     He or She That Sows Discord: Those who disrupt the unity of God’s people are objects of God’s anger. The unity of God’s people is destroyed by gossips and carrying tales. “Where no wood is, there the fire goes out: so where there is no talebearer, the strife ceases. As coals are to burning coals, and wood to fire; so is a contentious man to kindle strife”, Proverb 26:20, 21. A whisperer separates chief friends, Proverb 16:28; 17:9. Wow! You are really a good person if you have never gossiped or repeated something to someone that you knew before you said it would not benefit the person you were carrying the tale on.

Who's the biggest sinner? WE HAVE ALL SINNED. We all need to put our stones down and stop acting like hypocrites. It is human nature to look upon the sins and faults of others, while often overlooking our own sins. James 2:10, “For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he or she is guilty of all.” This is a doctrine that is hardly touched upon in churches today.

 No Christian should claim to be less a sinner than others. There is no teaching in the Bible that says Christians are less sinful than unsaved people. Christians should never reject the sinner because of a perceived sin we think he or she has committed. We ought to love everybody with God's unconditional love, but many in the Christian Churches are rejecting others when it comes to our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters. I am tired of hearing them say we love the sinner, but not the sin and then close their doors on the sinner. Where do they expect them to go? If they are not welcome in their church then you should take responsibility for sending them to the gay bars.

 If we could ever hate the sin in ourselves as much as we hate the sin in others, we might have a better idea what the Bible is all about. I have no righteousness to offer God, and neither do you. People tend to judge themselves based upon the sins they personally DON'T commit. People who don't commit adultery are quick to condemn others who commit adultery, because that's not their sin. Some Christians who are not homosexual are quick to condemn homosexuals without taking a good look at themselves.

 “Two men went up into the temple to pray; the one a Pharisee, and the other a publican. The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, God, I thank thee, that I am not as other men are, extortionist, unjust, adulterers, or even as this publican. I fast twice in the week; I give tithes of all that I possess. And the publican, standing afar off, would not lift up so much as his eyes unto heaven, but smote upon his breast, saying, God be merciful to me a sinner. I tell you, this man went down to his house justified rather than the other: for every one that exalted himself shall be abased; and he that humbled himself shall be exalted, “Luke 18:10-14.

We had all better think twice before we decide to throw rocks at other people who sin, denouncing them as evil, and taking delight in their troubles (HIV/AIDS). Our day of reckoning is also coming. So before you look down in disdain upon someone else who you think has sinned, you had better consider your own sins, because the Lord will judge us according to how we judge others.