Do you feel the Catholic Church has failed you?

I have reached a point where I can no longer justify the actions of the hierarchy of the Catholic Church. I have not had anything done to me personally, but I have witnessed for years how the hierarchy’s thirst to hold on to power and control has hurt and even destroyed others. I have managed to continue to attend Sunday after Sunday by telling myself the church is not at fault it is the hierarchy of the church that is at fault.

I thought Pope John Paul I would bring change, but his death came too quickly. I thought Pope John Paul II would bring about change, but he caved to the misguided Cardinals. I knew when Pope Benedict XVI came to power all hope for change was lost.  I still cling to hope that Pope Francis can bring about change, but I do not think I will live to see it due to my bad health.

I realize the church is governed by men who are not perfect. Anyone who expects them to be flawless is not logical. I can deal with not personally agreeing with some of the decisions they make, but when I see people being hurt by their decision it is difficult for me to deal with that.

For years I have ask God Do I leave or do I stick it out and continue to hope for change? There are many denominations that I could attend like Methodist, Lutheran, Episcopalian or Presbyterian, but I love the Mass. No other denomination could replace the Mass for me.

 “And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.” Matt. 16:18.

No matter the issue of hurt, harm or anguish, Jesus is the head of the church, not the pope, not the cardinals, not the bishops and that will never change.  Unfortunately, many in the hierarchy of the church have come to believe it is their church, they are in charge, they make the rules and the rest of us must follow without questioning them.

“So shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.” Isaiah 55:11.

“If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more the heavenly Father will give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him.” Luke 11:13.

When in doubt I go the Bible and the Holy Spirit for guidance. If the words of the hierarchy do not line up with the Bible and the direction the Holy Spirit leads me I ignore their words.

The Holy Spirit does not just speak to the hierarchy of the church He speaks to us to. When we are living in close relationship with God, the close proximity of our heart to His allows us the privilege of hearing as He speaks to us with peace in our decision-making processes.  If you are walking with God and do not feel peace about a situation then something is wrong for our God is not the author of confusion. (I Cor. 14:33). There is a reason the Holy Spirit is not giving you peace and this should guide your decisions in all situations, including church situations.

There was a time when it bothered me to hear a Christians say, ‘The church has failed me’.  I now think differently because if you are Catholic you have no say in the decisions of the church. If you are Protestant you do. Protestants have a say in making the church what it should be, but Catholics do not.  If you risk speaking out in the Catholic Church you risk being excommunicated. There is no democracy within the Catholic Church and the hierarchy of the Catholic Church would be the first to admit that. The hierarchy has unquestionable authority. The priests cannot even question their authority.

Do you honestly believe all Catholic laity and Catholic priests believe artificial birth control is a sin? Do you honestly believe all Catholic laity and Catholic priests believe divorced and remarried people should be denied Communion? Do you honestly believe all Catholic laity and Catholic priests believe divorce should not be allowed? Do you honestly believe all Catholic laity and Catholic priests believe you can pray the dead into heaven? Do you honestly believe all Catholic laity and priests believe the same on the issue of homosexuality? Do you honestly believe all Catholic priests were for the bishops covering up pedophilia by other priests?  I know they do not and did not! Many priests reported child abuse to their bishops and it fail on deaf ears.

The church hierarchy is not infallible; neither are the pastors. What do you do as a Catholic when you are assigned a pastor by the bishop that is lazy, arrogant, and stubborn, has a bad attitude, and never prepares a homily? You do nothing because you have no say on who your pastor will be or who the assistants will be. You pray you can tolerate him for six years. If you are Protestant you take it up with the Board or Elders.

For decades and decades and decades we sat silently suspecting something might be odd with our priest, but we never uttered a word that he might be molesting children. When some began to speak out they were not only attack by the hierarchy of the church they were attacked by some priests and some of the laity.  We had been trained well. Catholics never speak in a negative way about their priest. To speak against the priest or the hierarchy is to speak evil of the Catholic Church. I would venture to say some feel it is speaking evil against God.

I am all for having people of authority in the church, but I am not for those people abusing that authority. All organizations need authority figures, especially the church.

There was a time in history when absolute control may have been justified, but not today.  Any curious challenge or genuine question about Scripture, teachings traditions or doctrines is seen by the hierarchy as a direct attack on church leadership. I know people who have been branded as spiritually rebellious for questioning something they've been told rather than silently accepting it without question.

I feel like the hierarchy of the church is preoccupied with maintaining its position of authority in a changing society rather than seriously challenging itself. It appears to me the hierarchy would prefer the church to be an outdated museum than a relevant part of modern society. It refuses to make any changes to adapt to modern society. The attitude seems to be if it worked in 300A.D. it should work today and if it does not then something is wrong with you. The Church hierarchy has allowed the church to become out of touch and ineffective. It has become steeped in hypocrisy and complacency.

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9).

This is speaking of confessing our sins to God not man.  There was a time when only the bishops could forgive abortion and allow you to take Communion again. Now the bishop can allow the priest under him to forgive abortion and permit you to take Communion again.  This is a change and a good change, but whose Communion is it, the bishops, the priest or Gods? Why does a woman have to tell her bishop or priest about the abortion if she has confessed it to God, repented and sought forgiveness. It seems to me the change did not go far enough, but we do not have the right to question if the change went far enough or not.

“…for he that eateth and drinketh unworthily, eateth and drinketh damnation to himself (herself).” 1 Corinthians 11:29.

This scripture does not say he that gives the Communion brings damnation to himself. It says the one taking the Communion unworthy brings damnation to himself. Should the worthiness to partake in Communion be between God and the Communicant or the hierarchy/priest of the church and the Communicant? Should anyone have the right to deny another Christian the right to take Communion? None of us hierarchy/priest/laity are really worthy.  How can my divorced friends and homosexual friends feel a part of the church when they are judged by the church every Sunday?

Don’t tell me we cannot change we no longer own slaves, we no longer kill our children that talk back to us, we no longer require women to remain silent, we no longer consider women property of men, we no longer require women to cover their heads in church, we allow women to do the 1st and 2nd readings and we are now allowed to attend weddings and funerals at churches of other denominations. This is just a few of the unjust and silly cultural/traditions that we have done away with.

My closing words to the hierarchy/priest/pious laity is take the 2x4 out of your eye before you try to take the splinter out of your brother’s or sister’s eye. Then maybe we can become the church God called us to be.

Catholic - Justice

Molest children and the Catholic Bishops will send you to another parish so you can continue your evil deeds on more unsuspected parishioners. Make the mistake of using a hoverboard and you get suspended! I think God is in heaven wondering about the priorities of our bishops. Bishops - I think suspension is a bit much considering your past record on handing down punishment. Bishops remember GOD knows all your sins and mistakes - how many of you need suspending?

That's my child - you are talking about!

Things we should not to say to parents with special needs.

I have heard people with good intentions say some unintentional cruel things to parents of children with special needs. For example: “He looks so normal”, “God only gives special kids to special parents”, “You're a saint, I could never do what you do”, “When is he going to start talking?”, “Will she ever walk”, “My child learned to read by age 1”, “Is he your only child - are you going to try again?”, “Oh poor thing”, “I’m so sorry”, “She is not that bad it could be a lot worse”, “Will he ever be normal” and “What exactly is wrong with him?”

One of these perceived unintentional cruel remarks was greeted with a very loud “I do not want you to feel sorry for me?” by a mother with a special needs child.  I am trying to smile and shake hands with people as they leave Mass and I have two well intention women standing in front of me about to start Wrestling Mania XXV.

The one with good intentions could not understand why the mother of the special needs child was insulted when she told her, “You know he really looks normal.” She began to try and defend her remarks by telling the mother of the special needs child, “Why don’t you tell me what I should say, since it appears you would be offended at any comment I made. I was trying to offer you sympathy. What wrong with offering sympathy for a child that will be at a disadvantage the rest of his life? If someone says they are sorry, why are you so angry? Don’t let your ignorance upset you - educate me as to what you want me to say!”

I am supposed to now step in and be the peace maker before they attack one another.

I took the well intentioned lady by the hand and led her back a few steps and suggested if she was ever in a similar situation she could say the same thing she would to a parent with a ‘normal’ child - “He has such a beautiful smile” or “he is growing so quickly.” Parents with special need children are not generally looking for sympathy or pity.

Parents of special needs children do not see their children as burdens. They have learned to appreciate the little things like smiles, hearing “mama”, touching/hugging their children and being touched and hugged by them. They feel tremendous joy over what other parents may take for granted.

Special needs children love to play have fun and do the same things that other children do, just maybe not in the same way. They have thoughts, feelings, opinions and desires, even though they may not be able to express them, much less speak them, in a way that the whole world can understand. Special needs children want to be loved and understood for who they are. I once saw a special needs child on television say, “I do not want you to fix me. I want you to love me just as I am.”

Parents of special need children tend to see the things their children have in common with ‘normal’ children rather than the differences. I have had many parents of special needs children tell me every child is a blessing and every child is a gift from God.

There are over 20 million families in the United States raising children with special needs. It’s a fact raising a child with disabilities can be difficult, but that does not mean their parents love them any less or enjoy them any less. There are health issues that generally bring on financial difficulties. There are mobility issues that must be dealt with. Education often becomes a major issue. If there are other children in the family finding enough time so no one feels neglected can become a problem. Planning for the child’s future in the event the parent’s become ill or dies before the child weighs heavily on the parent’s minds.

The real choice in accepting or rejecting a child with special needs is never between some imaginary perfection and imperfection. None of us is perfect. No child is perfect. The real choices in accepting or rejecting a child with special needs come down to the parent’s ability to love and nurture, having courage or being a coward and between trust and fear. But, are not those the same choices all parents must face.

A baby with Down syndrome birthed in 1942, the year when I was born, could expect to live about 25 years. Many spent their entire lives shut up in public institutions. Today, people with Down syndrome often survive into their 50s and 60s. Most can enjoy happy, productive lives. Most live with their families or share group homes with modified supervision and some measure of personal autonomy. Many hold steady jobs in the workplace. Some marry. A few have even attended college.

In John 9, we read that Jesus’s disciples met a blind man, and asked Jesus, “Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he would be born blind?” Jesus made it clear it is not a question of sin or punishment when a special needs baby is born. “Jesus answered, ‘It was neither that this man sinned, nor his parents; but it was so that the works of God might be displayed in him’” (John 9:2–3). Parents of special needs children should not feel guilt and no one has the right to try and assign guilt to them. God did not look away when special needs babies are born. He did not make a mistake, nor was He punishing anyone.

Parents of special needs children by faith believe their child is not a burden, but a special gift from God. God is always in control and has their best interests at heart. God did not give them this special child to ruin their lives, for God promises to work all things for good. It is not always easy and we cannot always see the good, but by faith we must trust that God is working all things for good.

The church should not be a burden for Special Needs Parents. The church needs to offer programs that give the parents of special needs children a much NEEDED break. Church on Sunday morning needs to be, if nothing else, a respite. A time when these parents can have an hour — just one hour! — To fellowship with other adults; to relax and drink a cup of coffee; to focus on their own spiritual walk; to get away from the constant state of alertness that accompanies raising a special needs child.

You are NOT overstepping your boundaries by expecting your special needs child to be loved and accepted in church. It is NOT too much to ask. If others in your church are heaping more burdens on you than you can bear, it might be time to look for a different fellowship.

Ninety percent of special needs families do not attend church because most churches do not have mission programs for their special needs child.  The church needs to realize special needs children are a legitimate mission field. Church leaders should not predetermine who can and cannot be help by the Holy Spirit.

Jesus said, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’” –Matthew 25:40

One Catholic Church in the U.S.A. is taking seriously what Christ said and they are doing their part for the ‘least of Christ brothers and sisters’:

Handicapped Entrance & Parking: The handicapped entrances to the church are on the left and right hand side. They are accessible via the alley that runs behind 2nd Street and Glen Avenue. Side handicapped parking is available along Glen Avenue where the curb is painted blue, behind the St. Lucy house or in the lot directly across from the church.

Handicapped Bathroom: Located on the first floor in the front of the Church to the left of the altar. The main bathrooms are located in the lower level of the church by the lending library.

Handicapped Confessional: Located in the front of the Church to the left of the altar.

Handicapped Seating: Is located on either side in the front of the Church, right & left sides of the altar and the first three pews on each side of the main aisle.

Communion: Please sit in the first row of the Handicapped Seating area and a Eucharistic Minister will bring Communion to you. At St. Joan of Arc it is very important to us that every person who wishes to attend Mass and receive the sacraments can do so regardless of their limitations.

Assisted Listening Devices: They are located in the Narthex in the book cabinet.  Please see an usher.

Large Print Missals: Please see an usher.

REP for Children with Special Needs: SJA’s Religious Education Program supports all students, including those with special needs. Our program includes a special needs class held on Sunday mornings, helpers to provide one on one assistance in regular education REP classes, and in-home instruction for children who cannot attend classes. 

We will continue to partner with the Ministry for Persons with Disabilities to identify areas of improvement.

St. Joan of Arc Catholic Church
359 West Areba Ave.
Hershey, PA 17033

Do Catholic Homilies have to be boring?

Is there a Cannon Law that states Catholic homilies must be boring?

Sunday after Sunday I find myself sitting through another boring homily. Out of respect I listen intently and leave empty. I am beginning to think the reason Catholics go to Mass is strictly out of obligation because other than communion there is no reason to go. We Catholics have been taught that the priest homily may be painful and embarrassing, but we’re not supposed to complain.

How many times have you heard a priest say God is merciful, you can seek God’s mercy whenever you need it, and God always forgives you if you are really sorry for God is full of mercy? I am sure you have heard it a few thousand times and not one time did a priest ever tell you how he had personally experienced God’s mercy. Sometime I want to stand up and ask have you ever experienced God’s mercy or do you know anyone that has or can you tell me a 21^st century story that I can relate to and apply to my life regarding God’s mercy?

The homilies aren’t always boring. Some are just bizarre. One year during Advent I heard this at daily Mass: “Did you see the movie, The Nativity? Well, Hollywood is wrong. Mary did not have any pain when Jesus was born. We know she didn’t because the Bible says she wrapped him in swaddling clothes. Now if she had a regular delivery she couldn’t do that, she’d be too weak.” I wrote a blog title “Was the birth of Jesus as we have been taught?” In it I explain I think Mary felt the pain of child birth.

Often when I hear these bizarre things I look around and try to see what the reaction of those around me are. If I don’t see anyone rolling their eyes I figure they must have been thinking about what they need to get at the store for lunch following the service. I have been frustrated with poor homilies, but I have also been fortunate to hear some really good homilies. These are generally delivered by the younger priest.

Most Catholics are supportive of their priests, regardless of the quality of their preaching, but if you get them talking many will say they wish the homilies they hear on Sundays would be better. The main comment I hear from Catholics is that the homily should relate to our real lives. Many say that the bar is set low, and the most they hope for is a short sermon. They would like to see one central message, inspired by the scriptures and illustrated by real life stories.

Maybe some priests have lived such sheltered lives in the seminary and rectory they have lost touch with real life. They do not have to worry about rent, house payments, food, medical cost, clothing expenses, educating the children, utilities, etc.

Maybe some priests believe they must portray their personal and family life as being perfect. I thank God every day for the hard knocks I had growing up and still have and the problems my family went through. I was never ashamed to use my personal experiences like family members having children and not being married, a family member who was divorced five times, rape, sickness, death, grieving and yes even my being raped by an uncle when I was thirteen years old. Sharing those experiences helped me, helped others and gave life and meaning to my homilies.

I know not everyone is gifted with public speaking skills. Some are just really uncomfortable in front of an audience. While seminaries require classes in preaching, they do not guarantee success. I was one that public speaking did not come natural and certainly was not easy. I never remember stepping behind the pulpit and not having a mild case of nerves. How did I compensate for my weakness in public speaking – I spent hours upon hours late at night preparing my Sunday homilies. I did not take advantage of opening a little book and delivering someone else’s homily. I kept a binder on incidents or personal experiences that I may could use in future homilies.  Where there is a will there is a way.

To deliver an effective homily in a limited time requires editing and proper organization of the material. Before I gave a homily, I prepared it and said it aloud to myself beforehand not once, but several times. I tried to keep my homilies at twenty minutes so they were all well timed in advance.

That kind of preparation takes time. These days many parishes, especially in the United States, only have one priest, and being the pastor, the priest must attend and plan meetings, counsel people, prepare liturgies, meet with couples to be married, celebrate sacraments - all by himself. While I sympathize with these demands you cannot allow it to be an excuse for poor preaching.  Delivering the Gospel is essential to being a good priest.

In the States we have a Permanent Deacon Program. Married men attend classes on the weekends for one or two years and are taught how to handle priestly duties, including preaching, but excluding confession. Permanent Deacons can often add the perspective of people with wives, children, and careers outside the church and I have heard some of the best preaching from Permanent Deacons. Unfortunately some priests are too proud or too threaten to use these men to preach. 

Canon law does make clear that the person who should preach is the priest celebrating the Mass, but there is a narrow opening for others taking on this role. The General Instruction for the Roman Missal states that a priest celebrant “may entrust the homily to a concelebrating priest or to a deacon, but never to a layperson.”

Pope Francis ordained 19 new priests in Rome, instructing them to serve the flock rather than manage it, and to feed the people of God with heartfelt homilies rather than boring sermons. Pope Francis told them to deliver to the people a message that comes from their hearts.

The best homilies have three things in common: they are delivered with a genuine sense of passion, they give people an idea of how they can take action, and they are relatively short (twenty minutes) and to the point.  Regardless of how eloquent or charismatic a priest is these three qualities ensure that parishioners will listen, remember and talk about the homily with others and that should be the purpose of the homily.

I do not expect an improvement in homilies anytime soon, but perhaps if your parish priest is so boring that you cannot take it anymore and before you start thinking of leaving the Catholic Church for a Protestant Church you should start visiting other parishes. Yes, I am saying “Go priest shopping”!