Making the wrong post on Facebook can be dangerous!

What responsibility does social media particularly Facebook have in many of the deaths and mutilations that result from posting on Facebook?  I am not talking about the typical ones that I have read about where a man kills his wife because she changed her status on Facebook from married to single or man kills his best friend because he sent his girlfriend a wave on Facebook, a woman kills young teens after she seduces them on Facebook or a teenager that shoots his dad for grounding him from using social media.  I do not think operators of social media sites can prevent these mentally deranged people from committing horrendous crimes.

The recent events in Indonesia and Thailand have caused me to think that Facebook and other social media sites should take some action in preventing post in countries where they know certain posts may or will bring harm to their customers. Particularly when the person posting is a minor. 

A sharia court in Indonesia sentenced two Indonesian men to be publicly caned for gay sex for the first time in the conservative province of Aceh, the latest sign of a backlash against homosexuals in the Muslim-majority country.

The pair, aged 20 and 23, were sentenced to 85 strokes of the cane each after being found guilty of breaking sharia law in the only part of Indonesia that implements the strict Islamic regulations.  After this event I looked at Facebook posting from Indonesia and found many in their profile stated they were gay.  Many of the pictures they posted on Facebook would lead someone to think they were living a gay lifestyle.  Looking at their friends list can indicate they have an interest in a gay lifestyle. 

Now I know Indonesia, which has the largest Muslim population in the world, in the past has always followed a moderate form of Islam. But attitudes are changing within the government concerning sharia law and certainly among the growing number of radical Islamic Indonesians.  Social reforms regarding homosexuality and gender equality has swung far to the right. 

Facebook had no way of knowing these changes would come about, but the problem is they will continue to allow people to post items on Facebook that they know could bring them great harm or death or prison terms.  Many of these people making these posting are teenagers that do not really understand the possible consequences of their actions.  Just as Facebook knew of the problems in Thailand of posting criticism of the King or government they continue to allow teenagers to do so in the name of personal freedom.  The Thai government even warned Facebook of the consequences these posting could have and Facebook refused to monitor the site in Thailand.  Is it morally or ethically acceptable for a company that knows personal freedom in certain countries may or will bring prison and death to minors for them to continue to allow minors to take this risk?   

People in Thailand are going to jail for long periods of time for Facebook comments.  One example is "Do dogs have blue blood now?"  A comment made in December, by a 21 year old college student, reacting to a news story that a man had been charged with making fun of the king's dog and was facing up to 15 years of imprisonment, under the country's lèse majesté law, which punishes anyone who criticizes the king or his family. The man posting the comment could have been sentenced to ten years in prison, but the King showed mercy and he served 385 days. 

In 2016 two people were sentenced to 25 to 30 years for posting on Facebook they thought the government was corrupt.   I believe people have a personal responsibility for what they post, but I also believe many, especially the young, do not understand the possible consequences of their posting.  They are just innocent remarks made on Facebook. 

Most countries will hold corporations and retailers responsible for selling alcohol to minors.  There are countries that hold corporations and retailers responsible for protecting minors from being able to purchase firearms, glue, cigarettes and other inhalants.  Why then does social media, particularly Facebook, have no responsibility to protect minors?

In my opinion Facebook should have a moral and legal responsibility to go back and remove any damaging remarks from Indonesian and Thailand posting and profiles that could bring their clients harm.  The political climate, in Indonesia particularly, has changed and Facebook nor its clients knew this change would come about, but Facebook should now be concerned about their clients and do the right thing and remove dangerous postings.

Does Facebook make their clients really aware that anyone can get access to information saved to a Facebook profile, even if the information was not intended to be made public?  I think not.  Randi Zuckerberg the sister of Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg, criticized a friend for being "way uncool" in sharing a private Facebook photo of her on Twitter, only to be told that the image had appeared on a friend-of-a-friend's Facebook news feed.  Even Randi Zuckerberg can get it wrong. That's an example  of how confusing or how you cannot protect yourself from leaks.

Facebook claims they do not want to infringe upon their client's freedom of speech, but Facebook has no problem in censoring news stories that do not reflect their corporate views.  Compare the pro-Palestinian and anti-Israeli stories on Facebook news.  They do not mind infringing upon their clients freedom to get all the facts.  Compare their reporting of the Clinton’s (Democrats) and President Trump (Republicans). 

The popular Facebook Live app — normally used by millions to broadcast weddings, concerts and other personal events — has increasingly become a forum for violent acts such as killings, rapes, torture and suicides.  Does Facebook have an obligation to address this problem?  I think so.  It could devise an algorithm to monitor the live transmissions and uploaded videos of its nearly 2 billion members — possibly through key word or images searches — or its thousands of curators might be more vigilant in spotting and ending the transmission of suspicious activity in real-time.  I realize it is not an easy task to accomplish, but it could be accomplished. 

Why is Facebook not put to the same levels of decency as those that exist on television broadcasters?

It is hard for me to believe that Facebook cannot put in place some type of monitoring program to censor postings of clients in certain countries in order to protect them from their government.  Is it they cannot or they do not want to spend the funds or take the time to do so?

Facebook and other social media can bring instant gratification and sometimes instant gratification leads to regrets.  Some got instant gratification from criticizing President Duterte in the Philippines. Now martial law has been declared in some area.  Will there be people who will now find they regret those remarks that only brought them instant gratification and did not bring any real change to the country’s political and economical status?

How do you deal with ending friendships?

Have you ever had a friend shut you out and you did not know why?  I have and regardless of how hard you try to forget about it and move on sometimes it is difficult to do.  You may even tell yourself over and over I did not do anything to them and I do not deserve this treatment so why should I care, but you do.

Not all people yell and scream when they're upset.  Some will talk to you calmly about something you did, but if you fail to hear exactly what they're saying or you keep doing the same thing over and over they may move on with a complete shut out rather than announcing you're officially no longer friends. 

I think the worse situation is when the friend does not yell, scream, talk or whisper they just cut off all communication and go on with their life as if you never existed.  Do you call them and ask why or just let it go?  Do you just love them from a distance and hope one day you will find out why?  Do you ask another friend who knows you both if they know the reason?  I do not believe there is really a right or wrong way.  You just deal with each circumstance as it happens. 

The reason many people get so confused and hurt when a friend shuts them out is that they either genuinely don't know what they did, or they lack the ability to fully self-reflect.  If you really believe that there were no issues in your relationship or that you did nothing wrong, then perhaps the issue is with your friend, and it's just something they are going through.

 It's important to figure out if your friend has moved on from everyone, or just you.  If it's just you, then you probably did something that they perceived to be wrong.  Own up to what you did by acknowledging what happened and go from there.  If you feel it was something bad, apologize for it.  Be honest with yourself.  If the same thing happened to you, would you want a friend to apologize?  If so, then make it happen.

Avoid calling your friend out on Facebook in front of your other friends. The same goes for telling "your side" of things to mutual friends.  People do this to try and get others on their side, or to talk about how ridiculous their friend is being in shutting them out.  But you never know what that friend has said or failed to say to anyone else.  If you go and blab about all your problems, it will only make you look bad, especially if your friend has chosen to take the high road.

Taking the high road means they do not talk to anyone about your differences.  They do not get angry and they do not try to slander or hurt you in any way.  This is honourable, but it often leaves the hurt person hurting for a long period of time with no explanation.  It is possible the hurting person will never understand why.  What happens most often is the hurting person never becomes aware of what they were supposed to have done wrong and the friendship can never be repaired.

If, on the other hand, your friend has shut everyone out, then you know it's just something they are going through, and probably has nothing to do with you. 

If you can't get a response out of your friend, but would consider reconciling with them at some point in the future, send them a note and let them know you care about them and will leave the door open for them.  You can say something like: "I'm not sure what's going on, but it appears that you're not speaking with me.  If at some point you'd like to talk I'm open to that.  I'll be here." 

It is important that you remember in their mind there was a reason they shut you out, and until you know what that is, you can't jump to conclusions and get angry.  Forgive them for ending the friendship this way and move on.  Some people have to be loved from a distance.

There are times when a friend may be going through something and for whatever reason embarrassment, shame, and shyness they do not want to share it with you.  As a friend, you naturally want to help, but if they do not want assistance, there is not much you can do besides let them know you are there for them. 

It would be great if all our friends could calmly tell us when we have done something to upset them.  In reality, everyone is different and they process anger and hurt in their own ways.   Some people can recognize and address a situation right away.   With these people, it is easy to work through a problem. 

We need to know the difference between friends and acquaintances.  Does friend mean you have each other in your Facebook list?  Not really!  A relationship needs to contain some key elements in order to be labelled as friendship. 

This can get tricky, because most people have a different idea of what friendship really means.  Some people instantly trust new people and accept them into their heart without question.  For these types of people they assume someone is their friend until they find out otherwise. 

Other people might act "friendly" with someone, but not consider them a friend for quite a while.  Perhaps these types of people need to get to know someone better before they even consider labelling them as a friend.  Or perhaps they already have a lot of friends and therefore wouldn't consider someone they occasionally see at social events a friend.

Friends are kind and act as a positive influence in your life.  Real friends make you feel good, as opposed to bringing you down.  People who are genuinely your friend put your relationship above being right or trying to feel superior.  If someone constantly puts you down, he or she is not a real friend. 

People do have bad days and act imperfect so there are times when a true friend will be negative or hurt your feelings.  The way to determine if they are really a friend as opposed to something more negative like an acquaintance is to look at the whole of your relationship.  Don't look at moments alone, but consider: Do we share the good times and bad times – Do we know each other’s family problems – do I trust them with my secrets – could I call upon them in time of need – is sharing a cup of coffee enough to satisfy being together – do we attend important events in each other’s lives – do I feel better when I am with them – do I look forward to seeing them.

Friends don't keep score, but there is a balance to the relationship.  Sometimes one friend might be in the "spotlight," while the other is cheering them on. Friends should trade off in giving each other the "floor" in a conversation and in life, and should understand when the moment is their friends and not theirs.  If you feel as if someone truly believes in you and wants you to succeed, chances are they really do care and are a friend.

You naturally handle problems between friends differently than between acquaintances.  To be honest one is far more valuable than the other.

No one is perfect not even a friend.  Friends may break their trust with us, but if they do they will apologize and mean it and will want to make it up. 

When it is time to move on forgive even if you know you do not want to continue the friendship.  Holding on to the betrayal of a friend in your heart takes up the space where you can begin a new and healthy friendship.  Make up your mind to let it go so that thinking about what your friend did will not become your focus.  Remember, just because you’ve forgiven doesn’t mean your friend has earned your trust back.  Don’t set yourself up to be hurt again.  You should be careful not to say you’re “over it” when you’re really not. 

Ending a friendship is always hard, even when someone treated you poorly. You may feel guilty about ending the relationship, which is why you need to make sure it’s something you really want to do before you officially break up with your friend.  You may regret the time you spent cultivating the friendship.  But once you do end a relationship don’t beat yourself up about it. 

It’s hard to understand why certain people that we care about treat us poorly, but don’t overanalyse it.  Poor behaviour is a reflection on your friend, not you.  Allow yourself the time to grieve the loss of the friendship and then move on to meet new people.

A word of warning it is easier said than done, but sometimes it must be done.

Friends tell you the truth and you would be surprised at how many people do not want to hear the truth.  Your friends will tell you the truth even when it hurts.  As Proverbs 27:5-6 says, “Better is open rebuke than hidden love.  Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.”

It is better to hear it from a friend if you are doing something wrong because they truly care about you.  A friend doesn’t want to see you hurt.  A friend doesn’t want you to hurt others.  The point is that the truth sometimes hurts, but flattery or patronizing someone in the end, usually does more harm than good. 

I confess I often get in trouble when I am asked for my opinion and I tell the person my true feelings, instead of telling them what they want to hear.  BUT, I prefer others to tell me the truth and not be a hypocrite.  

I do not think it would be proper to end this without reminding you and telling you one more time to be careful not end a friendship that should not be ended. 

Before we consider how to end a friendship, it is important to note two situations in which we shouldn't end a friendship.  Some people will end relationships whenever a friend says anything critical of them.  Yet this shouldn't automatically happen.  Remember what Proverbs 27:6 says, "Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful." A really good friend is one who will tell us when we misbehave—and everyone does on occasion.  As 1 John 1:8 explains, "If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves." So don't end a friendship just because a friend tells you that you've done something wrong.  You may lose one of the best friends you could have.  Never end a friendship when you tell a friend the problem you are having with them and they make and honest effort to change or repair the relationship.  This is not the proper time to end a friendship.  Give them some additional time.

If in the end the friendship must come to an end we should strive to end it without being unfriendly.  Many times our paths will cross again with the individuals involved and it is better to be on pleasant terms instead of being enemies.  Romans: 12:18 says, "If it is possible, as much as depends on you live peaceably with all men."  This is true, even when we end friendships.   I pray you find courage to end friendships when you must and try to do it as peacefully as possible?