Expat in the Philippines - that loves it but does not understand it all

I do not understand, but I am only a guest in the Philippines – so who cares?

I moved to the Philippines over a decade ago. My reason for moving here was to do mission work. I was told EVERYONE spoke fluent conversational English. I also had responsible, loyal, dependable Filipino neighbors in the states. It sounded like a perfect place to work and retire in.

I think I have adjusted to the new culture, new traditions, third world living pretty well, but I cannot get use to the litter. There is a large vacant property across from my house that is owned by a Filipino doctor now living in California. My NEIGHBORS use his lot to dumb their garbage night after night. Not only is it unsightly it breeds RATS!

These neighbors are church going, family orientated people, own homes, children go to college, and some even own businesses. In fact one owns a large agricultural fertilizer business and he used to park his large trucks on the property at night for free without seeking permission. These people are not squatters.

The owner of the property on his visit in 2015 had a four foot block wall fence with four feet of wire on top installed trying to stop the problem. The neighbors just throw the garbage bags over his fence as if it was not there. One neighbor even commented, “I am glad he put up the fence the garbage does not blow in my yard now (and laughed).” It did stop the people from using his property for a parking lot. They now park on the NARROW streets in front of everyone else’s house blocking their gates when they actually have one car space at each house. You cannot address a problem with people that do not even realize it is a problem.

I do not sit on my front balcony any longer because I have to look at Davao’s version of “Smokey Mountain” (without the smoke) in Manila.

Filipinos are known to be disciplined abroad. Most OFWs tend to finish everything at work before the day ends; they are seen as courteous, refined, and well-mannered; and they carefully follow the rules of the company or community where they work and live. This observation is based on my personal experiences.

I do not understand why so many Filipinos lack discipline when in their own country.

Could it be that they demonstrated and won their freedom from martial law and now they take that freedom for granted and abuse it? It is as if they have forgotten others have rights to. The family next door live in a nice townhouse with two full bathrooms (CR’s). The men walk past the downstairs bathroom to go across the street and urinate on the neighbors fence – why? Do they understand that they are vandalizing PRIVATE property or do they just not care about others property? Democracy has limits! We now play a game when going from my home to downtown the one that catches the most men urinating on walls win a free coke when we arrive.

I have noticed since living in the Philippines a lot of Filipino children are growing up with less regard for rules and regulations. Is this because they are getting to be more Westernized? If it is I would not blame it on Western Nations I would blame it on Filipino parents for allowing it to happen.  ‘Po’ and ‘Opo’ were trademark words of Filipinos when it came to showing respect to people older than them. These are the words I seldom hear these days from the younger generation.

 This morning a six year old a few doors from me cried and screamed for over 1 and ½ hours. He beat on the fence gate with a hammer. Eventually the father started yelling at him and then the mother started yelling. Later in the day I ask the aunt what was the problem with the child – he wanted an ice cream from the Nestle peddler. His tantrums happen frequently.  When the tantrum is over the family members think it is funny – they call him “little macho man”. Does anyone think that this little monster will grow up to respect the rights of others – I do not think so. In the States I would have walked down to see if the kid was okay, but it is just a normal occurrence here.

Do some Filipinos not take discipline seriously because they do not see how serious it is? How would they when even their government officials do not follow the rules they have enacted? Under the table transactions; vote buying; VIP treatments in public activities and processes are just among some of the rampant forms of corruption in the government that remove the power of discipline in the society.

Some law enforcers are not being good role models either: Traffic enforcers getting bribed to let violators go and police officers are involved in crimes like kidnapping and drug trafficking. People do not see the need of following rules or even taking the initiative to take steps to improve things, because they know nothing would happen when the movement does not come from the top.

My neighbor was stopped when we were on our way to Mass. He was speeding and ran a traffic light. He bribed the law enforcer to let him go. He laughed and said, “I am glad I did not get stopped by the ONE honest law enforcer in the Philippines.”  I ask him did he realize his 15 and 13 year old boys were in the car and witness what he did. He said, “Father, they have to learn how to survive in the Philippines.”

No matter how good the regulations are if they are not implemented by the powers to be then what good are they? As long as the citizens do not see any danger of not following the laws, they will not obey them. I pray newly elected Duterte will address that issue.  From what I hear in the media he is a tough law enforcer, but we still have rape, drugs, murders, thief’s in Davao. Maybe not as bad as Manila or other places but we still have too much crime. 

I do not know why, but it seems many Filipinos are impatient or believe themselves to be privileged people. I think this is why shortcuts are popular here. Some people, who do not like getting into long lines when paying bills cut in line or go to the front of the line or even use their connections to avoid the line. This is common in the banks or waiting on a taxi. I use to say something until my Filipino friends kept getting on me because I was making the rude person ‘lose face’ – who should care if they ‘lose face’.  They need to ‘lose face’. But, I stopped saying anything because I always looked like the bad guy - the arrogant, ignorant, pushy person who was taking advantage of everyone else seem to be the victim to Filipinos.

Lack of respect indeed seems a problem that some people in the Philippines seem not to mind, although it poses a serious dilemma on peoples values and character. People should consider when we tolerate this disrespectful behavior, it can eventually lead to crime and violence. Clearly, society worldwide today lacks the clear perception about respect.

President Marcos had a lot of faults, but people were disciplined in his time. The economy was healthier than most in Asia. I hope someday politicians and citizens embrace the good of Marcos and avoid the bad. Learn from history do not ignore it and stop making the same mistakes over and over again.

P.S. – I know many Filipinos do not like foreigners making any comments about their country or their people – they are usually the same ones that bash the United States on a regular basis.  I like living in the Philippines better than in the U.S. or I would go home – that is common sense. I regularly point out problems with the U.S. on my blog – I just do not think it does anyone any good to bury our heads in the sand and pretend to the world we do not have problems.