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A driver
laid on his horn when I was trying to get into a taxi the other morning. The
taxi driver pulled to the side of the road and the driver could have gone
around, but instead he decided to make a fool of himself. I walked up to the
taxi, open the door, the man kept blowing and I lost my temper (lost control of
my emotions). I started yelling beep, beep, beep, beep, and shook my walking
cane at him. He made a fool of himself and I made a bigger fool of myself. I
allowed a man I did not know make my blood pressure rise and ruin my morning. What should I have done – I should have just
ignored him!
Life is full
of little hurts and disappointments. Every day these little irritations, if we
allow them to, will needlessly cause our bodies to go into fight-or-flight
mode. Stress hormones surge into our bloodstream, our hearts beat faster; our
blood pressure soars and our muscles become tense. What are we to do? We need to learn to control our emotions and just ignore them!
We may not be able to control the circumstances that come our way, but we can control how we respond to them. Learning to respond to situations rather than reacting is a key factor in managing daily stress.
But how do
we do that? How do we avoid holding onto the anger or irritation or resentment
that comes from all the little things that are thrown at us each day? And how
often do we need to forgive these acts - or ignore them?
Peter asked
a similar question in Matthew 18: “Lord, if another sins against me, how often
should I forgive…?”Peter was asking, in essence, “Lord, if Andrew or James wrongs me, how often do I need to forgive them?” They were Peter’s friends. Jesus surprised Peter by answering, “No, not seven times, but seventy times seven times,” a phrase that meant an infinite number of times. This rule does not apply only to family and friends it applies to the strangers that blow their horn at us, run their grocery cart into our car in the parking lot, wave an unfriendly hand at us when we are driving too slow and fail to hold the door open when we are walking in right behind them. Oh yes, cut in a line we have been waiting in for 45 minutes. We need to ignore these little inconveniences. If we do we will live longer and will live happier lives.
Jesus was
telling Peter, and through Peter each of us, that we are to ignore the little
things. Our lives are meant to be characterized by grace and forgiveness. Jesus
was asking us to say, “You’ve wronged me and I could hold onto my anger,
demanding some kind of satisfaction, but I choose instead to let it go and not
hold it against you any longer.”
Often,
others aren’t even aware that we feel they have wronged us. They don’t know to
ask forgiveness. So, somewhere along the way we’ve got to find the capacity to let
it go – ignore it.
Before you
lose it remember your own shortcomings. When you feel that somebody has
offended you, stop and consider how many times you’ve done something similar.
Try to assume
the best of the person who has slighted you. What’s going on with the other
person? Has he or she had a bad day or not feeling well or experiencing any
other circumstances that could cause shortness with you?Pray for the person and about the situation. Jesus told us to pray for those who may not treat us well and to love them. The Apostle Paul, quoting the Proverbs, told us not to return evil for evil, but to return blessing instead.
Once you
begin practicing doing these things it can almost become a game. In the
process, you can avoid being caught up in anger or irritation and every once in
a while, the blessings you return might just have a remarkable impact. Someone might one day just say, "sorry".
Remember the
only thing you truly have control over is yourself, right here, right now and
sometimes you cannot even control yourself. The other morning was a fine
example of my not being in control of me. I can guarantee you, due to my not
following my rule about dealing with the little stuff, the incident bothered me
more than it bothered the unknown man!