Tradition/Culture can be weird (nasty) sometimes!

I usually avoid writing or talking about things that really piss me off, for when I do, I get carried away.  Yesterday happen to be a day that three things that piss me off occurred.  So here goes.

I am trying to establish a new/used retail clothing store for my caregiver and two sisters in Davao. They have been loyal to me for over ten years. I will not live forever and I want them to have a means to support themselves. We have had a stall at the Davao Street Market in order to get familiar with vendors, suppliers and customers. Now it is time to go bigger.

We do not want a typical Ukay-Ukay store that you find in the Philippines.  We want everyone regardless of economic status to have a pleasant buying experience. It will be a super, super, super small SM Department Store.  First class fixtures, organized, clean, signage, room to move around in, men/women/children new (Factory Overruns) and Pre-Loved Clothes.

We finally found the place in the St. Pedro Cathedral area.  I thought it was the place God picked - WRONG!  The rent was more than we wanted to pay, but I decided to take the risk and pay one year in advance rent. The owner was out of town, but we knew it was our place when she returned - WRONG!  We discovered she did not want Muslims leasing her property, because they were dirty and ALWAYS used it as a business and a place to live in the back. I guaranteed her it would not happen and if it did she could  keep deposit and advance rent.  That did not satisfy her. She just did not want to do business with Muslims.  Remember now I am a retired Catholic Priest.

Yes, we were disappointed.  We had heard from retailers in the area where the property was, that, "The old lady and her daughter that owns that property are bitches and no one that knew them would rent that property."  I thought maybe they are wrong or do not want competition. I was wrong about the mother for sure!

I cannot stand a caste system that is really what slavery in the southern part of the USA was.  I am originally from Alabama.  I had my taste of family that loved segregation days, which in their eyes was a milder form of slavery. Went off to college and met Dr. Martin Luther King and join the protest marchers. My mother made me promise on my life I would never let a family member know what I was doing. I hated discrimination then and I hate discrimination now. Those sixty years between then and now the hate is just as strong.

That was PISS off number one. Now Piss off number two.  I schedule to get to an appointment thirty minutes early. That way I am never late. I simply take a book and read until the time for the appointment. Being punctual is very important to me. My time is valuable to me and I assume others time is valuable to them. Being late is RUDE!  If an emergency arises CALL do not keep the other person wondering and waiting.

I am having some work done on my house. The man is talented and like able, but three times he said he would be at my house and did not come.  Surprisingly I did not say anything until yesterday. I may be old and in a wheelchair, but you are not going to disrespect me.  I think he now understand you do not waste my time.

That was PISS off number two.  Now number three. I ordered 200 factory overrun dresses from Manila. They had called and ask could they ship another brand of the same quality. I agreed. The delivery man came and I was alone. I went to the front balcony and advised the driver I would come down on my elevator, but it would take time. He said okay.  I go down, open the gate, he says "Are YOU Father Tom Martin" and I say, "Yes".  He says, "Do you have a picture I.D."  I NICELY tell him if he thought I was going to struggle to go back inside for a picture I.D. He was crazy. He says, "You do not look like a Father."  I said politely of course, "Young man. I am eighty years old, sick and in bed until you came. I am sorry I did not shave or comb my hair before I came down.  But, I will share a secret with you.  Your parish priest wakes up in the morning goes to the toilet, showers, brushes his teeth and then puts on his clothes and goes to work JUST like you. God does not do those things for us. I no longer work so I do what I want."  Side note the dresses were not the same quality. I guess that was PISS off number four. I hate liars and dishonest people.

Expat Living in the Philippines

I get amused at comments expat’s make about the Philippine’s. They will say how GREAT it is and then say things like - expat’s do not usually last here two years - they will say how great the people are then say they are a bunch of thieves - they will say how great the women are then tell you of an expat that has lost everything to a dishonest woman - they are all quick to tell you how merchants cheat foreigners. They always mention  great smiles but most dishonest people smile alot before they screw you.

I have been here for 15 years and find the people are no better or no worse than other people around the world.

It is human nature to take advantages of people who let you. Some ecpat’s do not understand they use Filipinos as much ss they get used. They come for sex and take advantage of poverty. They live cheap many times because they do not pay their house help a fair wage.

Yes, living expenses are less and they are less because most Filipinos live in poverty. Merchants cannot charge first world prices are they would have no customers.

Doctors are not cheaper because they want to charge less. They are cheaper because most Filipinos cannot even afford to go to the doctor now. No one could go if doctors charged first world prices.

Someone pays for lower cost of living. It is those working six days a week for 3 to 6 dollars a day. They are lucky to get a job paying that much.

It is a lie to say you can live like a king in the Philippines on 500 to 800 U.S.A dollars a month. Most expats could not make the sacrifices needed to do that. That is the reason they only last about two years.

Electricity is the highest of any country in Asia. I use one air condition 24/7 it cost around 400 to 500 dollars a month. A decent house is going to cost 500 dollars a month and up. The same brand shoes in the Philippines cost more than in the U.S.A. at the mall.

You may find American products in the grocery store and never find them again. The products supposedly made by U.S.A companies are made in China. Many name brand we purchase in the U.S.A do not even taste the same.

I am very content here and do not desire to return to the U.S.A , but it is not paradise as some (most) expat’s claim. I guess they find it hard to admit they made a mistake moving here.

If you come here and expect to be treated like a Filipino you are going to be surprised. You will always be a foreigner. Family ties and loyalties will always go against a foreigner regardless if the foreigner is right.

Now get mad with me if you like I do not care. But I speak the truth. I have no DOG in this fight. I have a monthly income from a trust fund of 6000 USA dollars a month and can live anywhere in the world I want. I choose to live in the Philippines.ines

Doctor - With a heart for charitable work

Dr. Jeff Ho,

I want to take a moment to let others know how much I appreciate what Dr. Jess Jo is doing for the senior citizens and poverty stricken people of Davao, Philippines and surrounding areas.  I do not doubt  most doctors are concerned with the care they give their patience’s and want to do the best they can to heal them.  Doctor Ho goes far beyond what I have ever seen a doctor do in my nearly eighty years of life.  He puts medical care before a lavish life-style. He truly has a heart of charity and community concern.

I admit and apologize for wanting to leave when I first entered his office.  I was concerned.  It was not what I was used to.  It was very simple and honestly needs repairs.  I thought of leaving and I thank God I did not.  It is not the furnishing or structure that should be of concern when you seek medical care.  The only thing that should matter is the doctors ability and Dr. Ho certainly far exceeds the ability of many doctors.

To be quite honest I have not known Dr. Ho long, but in one week I saw remarkable change in my health issues.  I have heart, lung and kidney failure and Diabetes.  I was on 17 different medications and taking some twice a day.  My medicine bill was running about $1100 USA dollars per month.  I simply could not afford it any longer.  I also felt I was being poison by medicines.  I had discussed with my previous  doctors about my issues with medication to no avail.  It was like they were the doctor and I was the patient and if I knew so much why did I need a doctor.  I felt like it is my body and I should have a voice in my care.  Dr. Ho has listened to me and is trying to address my issues.

I was taking medication for my lung problems as needed and was hesitant to take it unless I was so bad I thought I would pass out.  He said use it morning and night and through out the day.  This has made a remarkable difference.  Others had told me to limit my fluid intake (water and broth from soups) to 1500 ml.  I simply felt this was not sufficient, but did as they said.  I am taking fluid medication to keep fluid expelled from my body.  Dr. Ho has allowed me to increase my water intake and I believe it has made a difference. I no longer feel dehydrated.   I have had a problem with my right lower leg for over two years.  I was told it was from Diabetes.  Dr. Ho advised me I cannot wear socks up over my ankles and prescribed exercises and increased my fluid medication.  I already see results. 

Of course time will tell, but in this short time I am grateful to Dr. Ho.  This may sound silly to some, but I was in such pain and unable to walk. I use a wheelchair. One morning I prayed to God to lead me to another doctor for another opinion.  I am a retired priest from the USA and I came to Davao after I was forced to retire because of health issues.  I did not really know how to find another doctor.  I went to the computer and searched for help.  Dr. Ho’s site came up immediately and I felt I should give him a try.  Thank God I did!

Dr. Ho provides free care for senior citizens and operates a free clinic on Saturdays for the poor.  He will see the poor and senior citizens anytime in case of an emergency.  The charges to regular customer or unbelievably small. Medical care is available to all because of this one giant of a man.  It is a shame that the Philippine Government or some Charitable Organization does not provide him support.  But, of course if they did they would want to take over his clinice and make all the decisions and destroy what the man has accomplished.

Please pray for Dr. Ho I know of no other doctor anywhere in the world and I have lived in many, many places that is as concerned about people as he is.  He truly lives what he professes.  I was floored when I had my caregiver call him about lab results he had requested and was told he and his wife had gone to wash clothes.  I know of no doctor that washes his own clothes.  I pray God blesses him and his family abundantly with joy, peace, love and protection.

Fr. Tom Martin - Retired

Home Repairs - Big and Small - Davao, Philippines

As an Expat one of the problems I have had over the past ten years is getting someone reliable to do work around my home. Not only is it difficult to find someone reliable it is even more difficult to fine someone who does quality work.

It took ten years, but I think I finally found someone. They were recommended by my neighbor and I recommend them to you. I hesitate to recommend anyone because I have no way of knowing if they will treat you as they did me, but if you hire anyone to do work around the house you are taking a chance so here goes:

Telephone: 09474774683 or 09263885217
Email - geronajulian4@gmail.com
https://www.facebook.com/trustworthhomeservice

They repair, maintain all household equipment and appliances. They will even do a job as small as changing light switches. They do mason work, paint, repair plumbing, weld, landscape, cut grass, electrical work, repair air conditions and more. Their prices are reasonable!

I would be embarrassed to tell you how much I have spent over the last ten years trying to maintain my home to only be disappointed every time.  In fact I have spent more than the original cost to build my house. The last exterior painting began to peel off in about 12 months. The upper and lower back deck rotted out in less than two years. The door replacement was a total waste as the door began to have cracks in them within six months. They did not buy enough marble for the counter tops and I have one piece that does not really match. If I had been in the United States I would not have paid and I would have taken them to court, but being a foreigner in the Philippines that is not something I can do. Everything has been a hassle until I found these people. I plan on having them paint the exterior of my house in early 2016 because the work they have done thus far gives me confidence in them. 

Philippine Culture - Take care of Parents?

When I first came to the Philippines the culture norm was that children took care of their elderly parents and grandparents, but a few years after arriving in the Philippines I saw that culture tradition begin to erode.  It was common to hear Filipino’s be critical of Westerners, especially Americans, for putting their elderly in nursing homes.  They would argue that we were disrespectful of our elders and that Filipino people would never do that.  Well, times have CHANGED!

I never put my mother in a nursing home, but now that I look back I believe it would have been better for her and the family if I had.  She had Alzheimer’s and there were times when caring for her at home were nearly unbearable.  At the time I foolishly thought nursing homes were where the young dump elderly parents and grandparents when they no longer want to be bothered with them. 

At the present moment there are two bills before the Philippine Congress that reflect the growing problems Filipinos have with the elderly.  House Bill 1514, filed by Representative Augusto Syjuco, allows the elderly to ask the courts to compel their descendants, whether legitimate or illegitimate, to give them financial and other support.  If younger Filipinos were caring for older Filipinos there would be no need for Representative Syjuco to file such a bill.

There is also a bill in the Senate, Senate Bill 1809, filed by Senator Mirian Defensor Santiago, which proposes the establishment of a government assistance program for elderly victims of abuse, whether physical, emotional or sexual, as well as neglect or abandonment by caregivers, financial exploitation and health care fraud and abuse.  Again, if younger Filipinos were caring for older Filipinos there would be no need for Senator Santiago to file such a bill.

I have heard many horror stories of the retired persons’ SSS or GSIS card being taken by their children or grandchildren, who then withdraw the monthly pension to use mainly for themselves rather than for their parents or grandparents.   I know of elderly people that have been put out on the streets by family members to beg for pesos to simply survive.  I doubt there is anyone in the Philippines that has not seen an elderly lady or man sitting on the sidewalk begging. 

How many bills are already on the books to curb the ills you find in the Philippines that are never enforced.  We all know that if established laws to fight corruption were enforced there would be little to no corruption.  I would suspect that these two bills if passed will not be enforced either due to lack of funds.

The elderly problem is only going to get worst in the Philippines.  In the 50’s Filipino’s generally died in their 50’s.  The time span to care for the elderly was short, but now Filipino’s who die in their 60’s are thought to have died YOUNG.  Complicating matters is the cost now involved in caring for the elderly.  Most elderly suffer from hypertension and diabetes and the cost of medication can run into the thousands of pesos each month.  Factor in diseases like Alzheimer’s and the cost runs even higher. 

The job situation in the Philippines requires many Filipino’s to work abroad.  The money sent home naturally goes first for the needs of the young and what is left may filter down to the elderly.  It is not only a monetary problem.  The O.F.W. simply cannot be home to give personal care to the elderly.

The numbers of elderly will continue to rise in the next century, but I do not think Congress can legislate parental or elderly care.  The government must strength the safety net they provide for senior citizens.  The Philippine government and society as a whole must begin to provide facilities for the elderly to go to and feel safe and be properly cared for and be given the opportunity to socialize with people their own age.  Nursing Homes/Assistant Care Living is not a dirty word as many Filipino’s believe. It often is better than the alternatives.

The Philippines has a population of people aged 60 and over of 7 million. This is projected to grow to 19.6 million by 2040, as a result of the lower fertility and lower mortality rate.

UPDATE: The abuse problem continues - June 22, 2014 MANILA from the Inquirer—with the growing number of aging Filipinos, various sectors are calling for the passage of laws to protect the elderly against abuse, described by many as a “hidden disease.”

At the commemoration of the World Elder Abuse Awareness Day at the Philippine Information Agency (PIA) in Quezon City last week, experts noted how senior citizens are constrained by shame to admit to being victims of abuse from members of their own families.