The wise man seeks advise the fool turns his back on advise.

My dad told me many times, “A man can learn from the preacher and the drunk if he will just listen.”  He would say, “One is not smarter than the other they just have different experiences.  The preacher will tell you what to do and the drunk will tell you what not to do.”  Both pieces of information are valuable.

My dad had a third grade education and was one of the wisest men I have known.  He worked his way up to be the number two man at Sheffield Steel’s Coke Plant.  He supervised engineers and at my dad’s funeral in 1958 several of the men told me that my dad could figure equations in his head faster than they could on paper.  He listened as he moved up and memorized the equations.

Over the years I have had to deal with many men and women who would come to me saying they were looking for help with a problem.  It quickly would become apparent that they didn’t want advice if it required them to listen and make changes.  In fact, the entire conversation would usually be about why they couldn’t change, why they didn’t need to change, and why they were not responsible for the results they were getting.  They simply did not want to LISTEN! 

Ten minutes into these discussions, I would realize I was dealing with a fool.  There was no point in continuing the conversation.  More talk would not change anything.   In fact most of the time they would leave my office upset that I would even attempt to offer any advice, because they thought I could not possibly know what they were going through. 

Dr Henry Cloud gave me clarity about something I had struggled with for years. The difference between a wise person and a fool is not about:

Position - Plenty of business leaders, pastors, and politicians are fools.  I have met wise office clerks, gardeners, and even one extremely wise car wash man.

Intelligence - I know fools with master’s degrees and Ph.Ds.  Some of them teach in universities and have written books.  I know wise people who never graduated from high school and a few who can’t read.

Talent - I know fools who are successful entrepreneurs, worship leaders, and television pundits.  I know wise people with average talent and modest income.

According to King Solomon, there is one major thing that makes the difference between wise people and fools: How they receive instruction and correction (Proverbs 1:5; 9:8–9; 10:8; 12:15; 15:12; 17:10; and 19:20.)  How they listen!  A wise person: Listens without being defensive, accepts responsibility without blame and changes without delay. 

If you are dealing with a wise person, talking is helpful.  They listen and soak up what you say and use it to adjust their lives for the better. Your input can make a difference. 

If you are dealing with a fool talking is a waste of your time.  They refuse to listen, they resist change and the problem is never with them.  The problem is always out there somewhere caused by someone else and bad breaks.  Their favourite line is you do not understand because you have not been through what they have been through or you have not had done to you what they have had done to them.

In the beginning I wondered why some conversations never seem to go anywhere.   They would leave and I would be left confused and frustrated.  Now I know.  This happens when you are talking with a fool. 

This doesn’t mean that I would write fools off.  Instead, I changed strategies. More talk won’t help a fool.  Instead, you must: Stop talking; Provide limits and Give consequences. 

At an Egyptian exhibit at the Houston Museum I once read "The wise man doubts often and his views are changeable.  The fool is constant in his opinions, and doubts nothing, because he knows everything, except his own ignorance" Pharaoh Akhenaton, c.1250BCE.  I have used that in sermons many times over the years.  The fool is constant in his or her opinion because they have never heard another opinion.  They refuse to listen to anything new. 

Jesus taught that in order to be wise, a person must put into practice what he has learned.  I believe books give knowledge, but books do not give wisdom.  Wisdom comes from listening to others with the intent of learning from their experiences and putting them into practice.  You keep the good and discord the bad. 

I have met a lot of seminary trained people with book knowledge about the Bible, but there is a difference between book knowledge and life experiences.  No one can experience everything, but you can experience lots of things simply by listening to others and not assume you know everything. 

Many people throughout the years have turned their brain and ears off at the door of the church assuming they knew more than the man or woman in the pulpit.  Some students do the same in class.   Don’t assume anyone knows more or less than you.  Listen to everyone and you will be surprised at what you can learn.  You can also learn what the speaker thinks he or she knows, but doesn’t.

Some people when they come to you for advice come to have their own opinions strengthened and not corrected.  God did not put us here to give strength to stupidity.  Be honest and say what you think, without pride and with a willingness to acknowledge you could be wrong.  Never assume what works for you will work for everyone.  Don’t assume you know what they are going to say before they say it.  You need to listen to them as well!  And if you do not know how to fix their problem admit it - don’t make a fool of yourself!