Stop trying to live others life's - live your own!

Today I am going to just ramble or vent a bit. I hope you will excuse me for doing so. Last night I met with a child of a friend at their request to talk to her about her attitude. During the conversation I said, "Why is it your teacher gives you a glowing report. She says you are the best student in your grade in the entire school and you are the most respectful child she has ever met. She claims she can only describe you as excellent - perfect", but that is not how your parents describe you.

She replied, "I am not the same at school as I am at home".  The first time I met this child several years ago I told her uncle they are going to have problems with her. She is "intelligent" and she knows it. The things they believe is cute now is not going to be cute in a few years. Well my prophesy was correct.

At home she wants to do things when she wants to do them and not when she is told to do them. If you cross her she yells and walks off.  You get the "whatever" with the hand in the air pointed towards you. If you try and talk to her she plays the I 'am sorry bit' and cries to make THEM feel sorry for her. She has the technique of getting and doing what she wants down pat. She has no problems calling cousins and siblings stupid because they do not excel in school as she does.

I ask her, "Why are you not the same at school as at home? Why are you not the same everywhere? Are you telling me that sometimes you are a phony - fake? Her reply was, "I do not know why I am different at school".

During my 3 a.m. prayer session it hit me like a ton of bricks - Tom why are you not the same everywhere with everyone?

My answer was - I was taught that I am to meet the expectations of those I am accountable to. That is a lesson I wish I had not learned so well. It has at times made my life miserable. I really did not want to be the best at everything I tried. I wanted to do MY best, but not try to be better than everyone else. I did not want to compete. I wanted to be good, fair, just, humble, faithful and loyal, but I personally did not have a need to be perfect all the time and I wasn't no matter how hard I tried.

Many in my family tried to live their life through me. I was the only one to go to college even up to today. I was the only minister. I was the only business owner, except for two uncles and grandfather. I was certainly the only one to graduate cum laud. All I wanted was to be was a minister from age six.

I was told in the seminary (cemetery) that a good minister has to appear to have all the answers. After all that is why they pay you and come to you for advice. I felt inadequate because I did not and do not have all the answers and it took me about ten years to realize I could just tell the people "I do not know". That was hard because I personally felt I had failed them. The authority figures in my life had told me I would be a failure if people thought I did not know it all.

Then came the time when I began not to agree with everything the hierarchy of my denomination handed down for us to teach. Do I tell the people I do not  believe abortion is an unforgivable sin and if it is forgiven the bishop must forgive it? Do I tell them I believe that having children they cannot afford is a bigger sin than using artificial birth control? Do I tell them Christ was not born in the month of December? Do I tell them the Shepherds did not arrive when Christ was a baby in a manger? Do I tell them that infant baptism is a ritual and it is okay, but I really believe it is best to wait until the children can acknowledge their own baptism? Do I tell them that I do not believe once saved always saved? Do I tell them I thing the Church is wrong to deny Communion to divorced and remarried couples or gay and lesbian couples? Will I be honest with myself or meet the expectations others place on me. Eventually, I began to preference things that I really did not support with - "THIS IS WHAT THE CHURCH TEACHES" and people in my parish knew that I did not whole heartily agree and then I would say other Christians believe -----.

Oh believe me when I say, it caused a lot of flack for me by some, but the majority supported me and did not want me to change. They were looking for truth and wanted to have the opportunity to pray, study and reason what was the truth. I would say the majority of Christians want to be TOLD what to believe.

Back to the beginning why have I spent my life trying to please others? All I really ever wanted was to please is God and myself. Why do I have to guard what I say so others will not be offended? What right do they have to impose their beliefs on me or what right do I have to impose my beliefs on them?

I sympathize with the gay and lesbian community. Their sexuality is between them and God as long as they obey the laws of the land (and lot of laws need to be changed) and they do not physically or emotional hurt others that is between them and God. What right do I have to judge them?

I do not want to anyone come back and say their actions emotionally offend me because it goes against what I believe God said - you should not be so emotionally weak. You can hold to your beliefs and let others do the same if you are really as faithful as you say you are.

I think a lot of Christians today have confused following God with trying to be God.

I am now getting nearer 80 every week and I frankly no longer care what others think of me and my beliefs if I feel I am right with God. I do not have to conform to anyone else belief system.  You have no right to judge me and I have no right to judge you. I can forgive the offences you did to me, but I cannot forgive the offences you did to others.  Only God and the ones you harmed can do that. By the way no other priest, bishops, cardinal or pope can forgive your sins either.

So in closing, I frankly do not care what you think of my of my political, personal or religious beliefs! I just want to be who God created me to be and please Him.

If you are allowing others to live their life through you or put demands on you to meet their expectations of what you should be or do my advise to you is make your own decisions and make yourself happy.

I just typed and did not worry about grammar or spelling or anything else. Please forgive me and do not nick-pick me. I actually have stupid people come back and say, "You were never a priest you misspell this or that or your grammar is terrible and you do not know where a comma, period or question mark belongs".  Hate to tell you priest are not perfect and they have the same bodily functions you do.  

Corruption in the Catholic Church

The official audit is out and it “ain’t” much better!

The annual audit of reports for sexual abuse by members of the U.S. Roman Catholic clergy was released last Friday and it showed a sharp INCREASE in the number of new claims.

The audit showed that 828 people came forward from July 1, 2014 through June 20, 2015 to say they had been sexually abused by priests, deacons and members of religious groups (yes, that includes cardinals and bishops). I will always believe the cover up was not to protect the Church, but to protect guilty cardinals and bishops.

Six dioceses in the U.S. have filed for bankruptcy because of the sex abuse scandal. Money that could have been used for the poor was paid out to cover the sins of evil priest. I am amazed how the bishops in the Philippines can be so critical of corrupt politicians stealing money from the poor when they are as guilty. As far as I am concerned the funds bishops used to protect evil priest was stealing from the poor.

It is true that the bulk of the cases are old cases changes in the legal system made it possible for old victims to file claims. Catholic parishes and other orders spent $153.6 million on settlements, legal fees and other expenses related to claims of sexual assault over the last one year period.  The Church spent $119.1 million the previous year. The church has paid out BILLIONS of dollars since 2002 because of the sex abuse scandal.

This is what happens when men are looking for a POSITION/TITLE and not a MISSION. Too many priest, bishops, cardinals are not looking for a mission they are looking for the respect a position/title brings. They do not have the character to earn the respect they want. They need the clerical clothes to demand the respect they want. Many young men had a mission when they started, but were corrupted when surrounded by older priest that had lost site of their mission. Their immaturity led them to mismanage their opportunity and away from their mission. Position means nothing if you do not understand your mission. The same is true of politicians.

God did not give us money, talents, blessing, opportunities, etc., in order for us to be important. God gave them to us to accomplish His mission on earth. The position/respect will come if you never lose sight of the mission. Unfortunately too many in the Church want the position, but not the mission.

Celebrating Mass does not take the place of a personal relationship with God. Celebrating Mass does not replace personal time with God in prayer, study and meditation. You do not know it all simply because you finished the obstacle course in the seminary. Knowledge comes with experience and experience comes with living it.

Success is hard to manage and if you cannot manage it you will eventually lose it. You are not fit to be blessed if you cannot manage it. Good managers are successful in good or bad times – they know how to survive. They survive because they know how to treat people. You cannot abuse people and survive!

Do you feel the Catholic Church has failed you?

I have reached a point where I can no longer justify the actions of the hierarchy of the Catholic Church. I have not had anything done to me personally, but I have witnessed for years how the hierarchy’s thirst to hold on to power and control has hurt and even destroyed others. I have managed to continue to attend Sunday after Sunday by telling myself the church is not at fault it is the hierarchy of the church that is at fault.

I thought Pope John Paul I would bring change, but his death came too quickly. I thought Pope John Paul II would bring about change, but he caved to the misguided Cardinals. I knew when Pope Benedict XVI came to power all hope for change was lost.  I still cling to hope that Pope Francis can bring about change, but I do not think I will live to see it due to my bad health.

I realize the church is governed by men who are not perfect. Anyone who expects them to be flawless is not logical. I can deal with not personally agreeing with some of the decisions they make, but when I see people being hurt by their decision it is difficult for me to deal with that.

For years I have ask God Do I leave or do I stick it out and continue to hope for change? There are many denominations that I could attend like Methodist, Lutheran, Episcopalian or Presbyterian, but I love the Mass. No other denomination could replace the Mass for me.

 “And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.” Matt. 16:18.

No matter the issue of hurt, harm or anguish, Jesus is the head of the church, not the pope, not the cardinals, not the bishops and that will never change.  Unfortunately, many in the hierarchy of the church have come to believe it is their church, they are in charge, they make the rules and the rest of us must follow without questioning them.

“So shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose, and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it.” Isaiah 55:11.

“If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more the heavenly Father will give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him.” Luke 11:13.

When in doubt I go the Bible and the Holy Spirit for guidance. If the words of the hierarchy do not line up with the Bible and the direction the Holy Spirit leads me I ignore their words.

The Holy Spirit does not just speak to the hierarchy of the church He speaks to us to. When we are living in close relationship with God, the close proximity of our heart to His allows us the privilege of hearing as He speaks to us with peace in our decision-making processes.  If you are walking with God and do not feel peace about a situation then something is wrong for our God is not the author of confusion. (I Cor. 14:33). There is a reason the Holy Spirit is not giving you peace and this should guide your decisions in all situations, including church situations.

There was a time when it bothered me to hear a Christians say, ‘The church has failed me’.  I now think differently because if you are Catholic you have no say in the decisions of the church. If you are Protestant you do. Protestants have a say in making the church what it should be, but Catholics do not.  If you risk speaking out in the Catholic Church you risk being excommunicated. There is no democracy within the Catholic Church and the hierarchy of the Catholic Church would be the first to admit that. The hierarchy has unquestionable authority. The priests cannot even question their authority.

Do you honestly believe all Catholic laity and Catholic priests believe artificial birth control is a sin? Do you honestly believe all Catholic laity and Catholic priests believe divorced and remarried people should be denied Communion? Do you honestly believe all Catholic laity and Catholic priests believe divorce should not be allowed? Do you honestly believe all Catholic laity and Catholic priests believe you can pray the dead into heaven? Do you honestly believe all Catholic laity and priests believe the same on the issue of homosexuality? Do you honestly believe all Catholic priests were for the bishops covering up pedophilia by other priests?  I know they do not and did not! Many priests reported child abuse to their bishops and it fail on deaf ears.

The church hierarchy is not infallible; neither are the pastors. What do you do as a Catholic when you are assigned a pastor by the bishop that is lazy, arrogant, and stubborn, has a bad attitude, and never prepares a homily? You do nothing because you have no say on who your pastor will be or who the assistants will be. You pray you can tolerate him for six years. If you are Protestant you take it up with the Board or Elders.

For decades and decades and decades we sat silently suspecting something might be odd with our priest, but we never uttered a word that he might be molesting children. When some began to speak out they were not only attack by the hierarchy of the church they were attacked by some priests and some of the laity.  We had been trained well. Catholics never speak in a negative way about their priest. To speak against the priest or the hierarchy is to speak evil of the Catholic Church. I would venture to say some feel it is speaking evil against God.

I am all for having people of authority in the church, but I am not for those people abusing that authority. All organizations need authority figures, especially the church.

There was a time in history when absolute control may have been justified, but not today.  Any curious challenge or genuine question about Scripture, teachings traditions or doctrines is seen by the hierarchy as a direct attack on church leadership. I know people who have been branded as spiritually rebellious for questioning something they've been told rather than silently accepting it without question.

I feel like the hierarchy of the church is preoccupied with maintaining its position of authority in a changing society rather than seriously challenging itself. It appears to me the hierarchy would prefer the church to be an outdated museum than a relevant part of modern society. It refuses to make any changes to adapt to modern society. The attitude seems to be if it worked in 300A.D. it should work today and if it does not then something is wrong with you. The Church hierarchy has allowed the church to become out of touch and ineffective. It has become steeped in hypocrisy and complacency.

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” (1 John 1:9).

This is speaking of confessing our sins to God not man.  There was a time when only the bishops could forgive abortion and allow you to take Communion again. Now the bishop can allow the priest under him to forgive abortion and permit you to take Communion again.  This is a change and a good change, but whose Communion is it, the bishops, the priest or Gods? Why does a woman have to tell her bishop or priest about the abortion if she has confessed it to God, repented and sought forgiveness. It seems to me the change did not go far enough, but we do not have the right to question if the change went far enough or not.

“…for he that eateth and drinketh unworthily, eateth and drinketh damnation to himself (herself).” 1 Corinthians 11:29.

This scripture does not say he that gives the Communion brings damnation to himself. It says the one taking the Communion unworthy brings damnation to himself. Should the worthiness to partake in Communion be between God and the Communicant or the hierarchy/priest of the church and the Communicant? Should anyone have the right to deny another Christian the right to take Communion? None of us hierarchy/priest/laity are really worthy.  How can my divorced friends and homosexual friends feel a part of the church when they are judged by the church every Sunday?

Don’t tell me we cannot change we no longer own slaves, we no longer kill our children that talk back to us, we no longer require women to remain silent, we no longer consider women property of men, we no longer require women to cover their heads in church, we allow women to do the 1st and 2nd readings and we are now allowed to attend weddings and funerals at churches of other denominations. This is just a few of the unjust and silly cultural/traditions that we have done away with.

My closing words to the hierarchy/priest/pious laity is take the 2x4 out of your eye before you try to take the splinter out of your brother’s or sister’s eye. Then maybe we can become the church God called us to be.

Does the Bible Prove the Existence of God?

 I recently heard about a book called “Has Christianity Failed You.”  I heard about the book on a Christian program being broadcasted by a Christian station.  A few days later I ran across a piece on You Tube where an atheist was questioning the material in the book.  I have not read the book, as yet, but it seems that the atheist challenging the book believes the author used only the Bible to try and prove the existence of a God.   He states that it is impossible to use a book, which many do not believe in, to prove the existence of a God. He states that the author would first have to prove the book he is using, the Bible, is accurate in every detail.  I agree with that.  Unless you have allowed yourself to have a personal relationship with God, I do not believe the Bible, is enough to allow you to completely believe in God.  A personal relationship is one where you have felt the intervention of God in your life on a personal level.  Atheist and many Christians wrongly deny these personal God interventions and write them off as coincidences.

The atheist takes segments of the Bible and used them to try and prove his point that there is no God, particularly a Christian God.  I believe both men to be wrong.  I do not believe you can prove the existence of a God or non-existence of a God with ANY book.  All books are written by men and all books are influenced by men and all men have an agenda when writing a book.  Unless you have allowed yourself to have a personal relationship with God you open yourself up to always have your faith in God challenged by the words of men verbally or through books. 

The thing that attracted me most to the Catholic faith is that they do not require one to believe in the literal translation of the Bible.  They acknowledge many of the stories in the Bible like Noah’s flood, the creation story, Jonah and the fish story, the tower of Babel and others are stories, but valuable stories that one can learn from.  Unlike Fundamentalist Christians, Catholic’s are not required to believe that these stories happened literally, word for word, as man told them and later wrote them down.  If you profess to believe the literal translation of the Bible you open yourself up to be made a fool of by atheist.  The Bible can become a weapon that is used against you, instead of a tool that can draw you closer to God.

In my ‘old age’ the thing that disappoints me the most is the Catholic Christians that I meet who believe they are good Catholic Christians simply because they attend Mass, perform Catholic rituals and believe in the Bible.   The same is true of Protestant Christians. Many Protestants believe if they attend church, profess to believe literally in the Bible and tithe they are good Christians. Christianity is more than satisfying the requirements of men.  Christianity is following the teachings of Christ that were implanted in us by God when God sent the Holy Spirit.  I would say the majority of Catholic Christians and Protestant Christians do not have any idea what God wants of them they simply act like a sponge and assorp all the teachings as proclaimed by their leaders without ever questioning them. 

We should not be doing something simply because the Bible or man tells us to do it.  We should be doing the things we feel God is leading us to do.  Morality is doing those things that bring happiness, health and wellbeing to self and others and by our doing these things we make our community a better place.  Immorality is doing the opposite.  Many moral teachings are in the Bible and we should follow them, but as atheist always point out there are some immoral things listed in the Bible and we certainly should avoid them.  I am not going in to all these things in detail, but I certainly believe it is immoral to own slaves and the Bible grants some the authority to do so. I believe my God believes it is immoral to own slaves.

I believe my God judges me to be as good a Christian Catholic as possible, but according to many in the Catholic Church my present beliefs would prohibit them from believing I was.   I have studied the history of the Catholic Church and I know for a FACT there have been many evil Popes.  I do not believe my God wants me to follow ANY man blindly be they pope, bishop, priest, religious leader or self-proclaimed SON OF GOD like Pastor Apollo.  At the moment a reproductive bill is before the Philippine Congress and Senate and the Catholic hierarchy is standing in the way of its passage.  I believe their stand to be immoral and I believe God through the Holy Spirit has led me to this belief.  Just last week charges were brought against a Filipino priest for rape and his bishop protects him by bringing him into his home and is protecting him from being arrested as any other citizen of the Philippines would be.  I believe this is immoral and it certainly by no means passes my definition of morality. 

 People need to attempt a personal relationship with God and use that to define God and not rely totally on the Bible, religion, denomination or men.  Regardless of what anyone says my faith in God can only be affected by my personal relationship with God and no man or woman can change that.