What kind of giver are you - grudging or cheerful?

Deuteronomy 15:10 – “Give generously to them and do so without a grudging heart; then because of this the LORD your God will bless you in all your work and in everything you put your hand to.”  2 Corinthians 9:7 – “Each one must do just as he has purposed in his heart, not grudgingly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.”  Proverbs 11: - “A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.” Romans 12:8 – “If it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.

The above scriptures do not apply only to what you give to the church or to the Lord.  These scriptures apply to what you give to friends, family and the poor.  They include all types of giving.  The meaning is simple if you do not truly want to give a gift then do not give it.  No blessing comes to you when a gift is given out of obligation or resentment.  Many times people give only because someone asks them to give and they would be embarrassed to refuse.  Sometimes people give in hopes others will look favorably upon them.  Often people give simply because they do not have the courage to refuse.  Do you know the meaning of hypocrite?

Paul said, “Each one must do just as he has purposed in his heart, not grudgingly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. “  The attitude behind the giving really matters.  There is a huge difference between giving stuff that you feel obligated to and cheerfully giving something to another person from the heart because it brings you joy.  Giving should bring you joy and happiness and when you give cheerfully it brings God joy.

Giving is a natural and a spiritual process.  Receiving plays a major part in that process because the giving is not complete until the gift is accepted.  Many say never refuse to accept a gift.  It is true; you really should not block someone's opportunity to receive a blessing.  But what if you know the gift was not given to you with the right attitude?  Should you accept a gift when you know someone did not want to give it?  Say the gift giver has deliberately avoided you for months or years and has not responded to you in that same period of time are you obligated to accept there gift.   If you did not accept the gift you would not be blocking a blessing because God is not going to bless that kind of giving in the first place.  Loveless giving is not Christian giving!

Refusing to accept a gift can deny a person the opportunity to extend a blessing to others that would bring them joy and happiness.  I have to admit it has always been difficult for me to accept gifts for I have never really needed anything.  I was reminded by an elderly lady of the harm I was doing when I refused a gift. She said to me, "Father it is not fair for you to deny me a bit of happiness when I give you a personal gift."

When we give we should ask ourselves what is the reason for our giving.  The Lord wants us to give for the right reasons.  Jesus warned His disciples not to give for the sake of being admired by men. "Beware of practicing your righteousness before men to be noticed by them," Matthew 6:1.  We should seek God’s approval for our giving, rather than the praise and admiration of people.  Are you giving for God's praise or the praise of men? 

The question of accepting a gift from someone who does not like you or does not respect you or no longer wants to be friends with you can be a problem.  I do not believe refusing the gift in a polite way is a sin.

Some would say you should not refuse a gift because it may embarrass the giver, but what about the receiver’s feelings?  Should the receiver be a hypocrite and accept something that goes against their conscience?  I honestly believe some people continue to do wrong because they are allowed to get away with it.   I think we do wrong by trying to save the face of those who do not deserve to have their face saved.  I would prefer to be honest than be a hypocrite.

I personally do not want anything that someone gives to me grudgingly or with strings attached.  I have had gifts given to me that I could not use or someone else needed more than me and I have passed them on.  The giver would later find out and be enraged at me for giving their gift away.  This is one example of giving with strings being attached.  Once you give someone a gift that gift becomes the receivers free and clear unless you have an agreement beforehand. 

The question remains do you accept gifts from hypocrites.   I guess you have to weigh each situation.  Will others be hurt if you refuse the gift?  What is to be gained if you refuse the gift?  I do not think it is a sin to refuse a gift when you think it is morally wrong for you to accept it. Politicians are certainly acting immoral when they accept bribes.  Whatever you decide to do be polite and do it in love.  Do not do it in an attempt to get even or seek revenge.  Perhaps God will give you a triple blessing for swallowing your pride and saying ‘thank you’.  

I admit I have an issue with pride and it is hard for me to allow people to think they are pulling one over on me.  I often confront others when I think that is happening and sometimes I wish I had not.  I pray and work hard at trying to think before I react.  The tongue can truly be destructive.